Happy Father's Day!
Showing posts with label my Dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my Dad. Show all posts
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Friday, January 18, 2008
Heaven can wait.
I was speaking to my folks last night. Dad just started his 7th (3 week) course of treatment. The doctors are as pleased as ever with how well his body is taking to all the drugs and injections and pills and so on. While he's not pain or discomfort free, when you consider he's a 5 injections a day Diabetic, who's also had a stroke and 2 heart attacks in the last 7 years, he's doing far better than even they could have hoped; which DOES help him through the neuropathology, fevers and many frequent visits to the 'reading room'. He's vastly more optimistic than he was even at the onset of the treatments.
Mom has really been amazing through all of this. Stepping up to the plate and not only waiting on Dad, hand and foot, becoming the official household driver for all trips large and small, but also because through all this, her own Mother has been hospitalized twice. The latest only this past Monday. We don't know how long my Grandmother will be there. She had become dehydrated as she was not eating and drinking as she should at home, and despite my Mother's, my Uncle's and the VoN's best interests, they had to re-hospitalize her. She was on an IV for 2 days but is now back on solids and understands that while she is, as she said, "ready to head on up and meet God" she is not ready to do so from a hospital bed, and wants to be home. And 'Home' means eating and drinking and taking care of herself as best she can and relying on everyone else to do what she cannot or should not be doing.
---
I called my Grandmother this morning during a break at work. Her voice instantly perking up as soon as she knew who was on the phone. When I asked her what she thought she was doing, she replied, "Oh my dear, I'm just waiting for you to come home and take me up to the Pearly Gates." to which I replied, "Well then you've got one heck of a long wait on your hands, because I'm in no hurry to go up 'there'." She laughed and said, "Well ok, but don't keep me waiting too long, I'm not getting any younger..."
I can understand her state of mind. She's 93, will be 94 in 2 months and has out lived every other member of her generation of family and friends. While fiercely independent and living in her own home, the past couple of years have seen a drastic slow down in her strength, and ability. She has never been one to cope well with others doing for her. And even with her children and grand children and great grand children and neighbours doing what they can, she is admitting defeat. She's lived a long and happy and otherwise healthy life and realizes, there's not much time left and nothing to do. It's not a waiting game any of us look forward to I think, and she's just tired of it all.
While I wish her continued years, I too wish her all that her heart desires and understand that she's made her peace and is ready to meet her maker. But I'm sorely afraid to say,but if I am indeed her Earthly Escort to the Great Beyond, then, Heaven can, nay, will just have to wait.
Mom has really been amazing through all of this. Stepping up to the plate and not only waiting on Dad, hand and foot, becoming the official household driver for all trips large and small, but also because through all this, her own Mother has been hospitalized twice. The latest only this past Monday. We don't know how long my Grandmother will be there. She had become dehydrated as she was not eating and drinking as she should at home, and despite my Mother's, my Uncle's and the VoN's best interests, they had to re-hospitalize her. She was on an IV for 2 days but is now back on solids and understands that while she is, as she said, "ready to head on up and meet God" she is not ready to do so from a hospital bed, and wants to be home. And 'Home' means eating and drinking and taking care of herself as best she can and relying on everyone else to do what she cannot or should not be doing.
---
I called my Grandmother this morning during a break at work. Her voice instantly perking up as soon as she knew who was on the phone. When I asked her what she thought she was doing, she replied, "Oh my dear, I'm just waiting for you to come home and take me up to the Pearly Gates." to which I replied, "Well then you've got one heck of a long wait on your hands, because I'm in no hurry to go up 'there'." She laughed and said, "Well ok, but don't keep me waiting too long, I'm not getting any younger..."
I can understand her state of mind. She's 93, will be 94 in 2 months and has out lived every other member of her generation of family and friends. While fiercely independent and living in her own home, the past couple of years have seen a drastic slow down in her strength, and ability. She has never been one to cope well with others doing for her. And even with her children and grand children and great grand children and neighbours doing what they can, she is admitting defeat. She's lived a long and happy and otherwise healthy life and realizes, there's not much time left and nothing to do. It's not a waiting game any of us look forward to I think, and she's just tired of it all.
While I wish her continued years, I too wish her all that her heart desires and understand that she's made her peace and is ready to meet her maker. But I'm sorely afraid to say,but if I am indeed her Earthly Escort to the Great Beyond, then, Heaven can, nay, will just have to wait.
Love ya Nanny...
Get comfortable, you're not going anywhere just yet.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
News from the Homefront.
After yet another shit day at work due to the off-line Nuclear Reactor (story here) and stressing non-stop pressure at work... I received a wonderful phone call tonight from my folks...
Dad had his 5th chemo treatment yesterday and at that time received the results of a C.A.T. Scan he had a week ago. And the news was excellent. Very promising indeed.
It seems that his lymph-node's swelling is reducing and they are going back to 'normal' size. The Doctors are pleased with his progress, especially the lack of serious adverse side effects... so far only fever, some minor rash, loss of hair (not like he had much to lose) and some mild neuropathy in his hands. They said that he is in Partial Remission at this point and they will continue his treatments to the end of the eight cycles (this was week one of the fifth 3-week cycle).
Both my parents could not have been happier, and I know from hearing my Father's voice that this report has thrust his spirits higher and higher. Didier and I could not be more pleased.
It's not over yet but he's well on his way on this challenge of his life... and a positive resolution.
Thanks again to everyone for their continued positive support. We all appreciate it so much!
Dad had his 5th chemo treatment yesterday and at that time received the results of a C.A.T. Scan he had a week ago. And the news was excellent. Very promising indeed.
It seems that his lymph-node's swelling is reducing and they are going back to 'normal' size. The Doctors are pleased with his progress, especially the lack of serious adverse side effects... so far only fever, some minor rash, loss of hair (not like he had much to lose) and some mild neuropathy in his hands. They said that he is in Partial Remission at this point and they will continue his treatments to the end of the eight cycles (this was week one of the fifth 3-week cycle).
Both my parents could not have been happier, and I know from hearing my Father's voice that this report has thrust his spirits higher and higher. Didier and I could not be more pleased.
It's not over yet but he's well on his way on this challenge of his life... and a positive resolution.
Thanks again to everyone for their continued positive support. We all appreciate it so much!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Turkey Interrupted...
Originally the plan was that Didier and I would meet my parents at the summer home on PEI for Thanksgiving to close it up for the season, but then due to Dad's chemo he is not allowed to travel, at all. So that was out.
We were then gonna go fly down and visit for thanksgiving, but we couldn't find any half decent airfare. (There ain't nothing fare about airfare) For what it would have cost we could have gone to Europe and back!
Finally though, we found some tickets that would not negate our intended retirement at the age of 65. So, we're flying down in two weeks and going to have our Thanksgiving then.
---
On a side note, Dad is doing well, all things considered. His Doctor is more than satisfied with how his body is reacting to the treatments. The only down to this is that a week ago he got some bone marrow test results back and it seems there are traces of the lymphoma in his marrow. And like you would imagine that's not good. Technically he should now, not been admitted to the clinical trial as it was meant for only stage 1-3 patients and with the marrow results he's technically stage 4. This was apparently known to the Trial Dr's and head Nurse prior though, so until he goes in next Tuesday, we can only assume that because it was only trace amounts, that they let him participate.
Fingers crossed to Tuesday.
---
But because I cannot wait for a good turkey dinner, Didier and I are having a few friends over tomorrow for turkey and all the fixin's!
For those of you in Turkey-Mode, be it today, or tomorrow, in two weeks or in November, (a la America) I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope that you are sharing it with those you're truly thankful to have in your life, that's what it's all about.
We were then gonna go fly down and visit for thanksgiving, but we couldn't find any half decent airfare. (There ain't nothing fare about airfare) For what it would have cost we could have gone to Europe and back!
Finally though, we found some tickets that would not negate our intended retirement at the age of 65. So, we're flying down in two weeks and going to have our Thanksgiving then.
---
On a side note, Dad is doing well, all things considered. His Doctor is more than satisfied with how his body is reacting to the treatments. The only down to this is that a week ago he got some bone marrow test results back and it seems there are traces of the lymphoma in his marrow. And like you would imagine that's not good. Technically he should now, not been admitted to the clinical trial as it was meant for only stage 1-3 patients and with the marrow results he's technically stage 4. This was apparently known to the Trial Dr's and head Nurse prior though, so until he goes in next Tuesday, we can only assume that because it was only trace amounts, that they let him participate.
Fingers crossed to Tuesday.
---
But because I cannot wait for a good turkey dinner, Didier and I are having a few friends over tomorrow for turkey and all the fixin's!
For those of you in Turkey-Mode, be it today, or tomorrow, in two weeks or in November, (a la America) I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope that you are sharing it with those you're truly thankful to have in your life, that's what it's all about.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Walking for my Dad.
As I mentioned back on September 6th, I will be walking in honour of my father this year at the annual Light the Night Walk (Marche Illumine La Nuit) This is a walk at night around Ile Ste-Hélène, open to individuals, families, groups and companies to help raise funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Canada . All money raised fund its lifesaving research, patient information and support programs. (All monies raised in Canada will remain in Canada for research and patient services.)
Today, my father received the first of 8 chemotherapy treatments and, knock wood, all went well. It was a long arduous day. My parents left the house at 6:30 am to get to the hospital for 7 am and only arrived back home at 4:30pm There was extra work to do today, they went over then endless list of possible side effects, discussed the clinical trial and so on. For as tired as he was when I was speaking to him tonight, Dad sounded in very excellent spirits.
If you'd be interested in sponsoring me, you can do so online HERE. My goal is to raise $500.00. Anything you can give is most incredibly welcome, but that said, all I can really ask is what we've received already from so many of you, and that is your positive support, energy, kind thoughts and words, they in themselves already help so much. :-)
Today, my father received the first of 8 chemotherapy treatments and, knock wood, all went well. It was a long arduous day. My parents left the house at 6:30 am to get to the hospital for 7 am and only arrived back home at 4:30pm There was extra work to do today, they went over then endless list of possible side effects, discussed the clinical trial and so on. For as tired as he was when I was speaking to him tonight, Dad sounded in very excellent spirits.
If you'd be interested in sponsoring me, you can do so online HERE. My goal is to raise $500.00. Anything you can give is most incredibly welcome, but that said, all I can really ask is what we've received already from so many of you, and that is your positive support, energy, kind thoughts and words, they in themselves already help so much. :-)
My body is in Montréal, my Heart and Spirit are in Halifax.
My Dad is having his first treatment of Chemotherapy, even as I type these words...
Dad,
I thinking of you and sending all the positive energry I can.
Lova ya.
Dad,
I thinking of you and sending all the positive energry I can.
Lova ya.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
my Dad...
So well, for those of you that have been following my blog for the last few months, you know that my Father was recently diagnosed with Cancer. Lymphatic Cancer was all they could say back on August 8th.
Wel, he had more tests done, another CAT, a Bone Marrow test and lots of blood work.... Seems it's Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. He is Grade Two, Stage Three. Basically it's 'treatable, but not curable"
The Doctor's say it's not quite a death sentence, he could easily be around five to ten years... even longer. They want to add him to a clinical trial taking place in Canada at the moment. There are only 100 spaces available for the whole country, 10 at the hospital he is being taken care of in Halifax. We're still awaiting the final OK for him to start, but he has two appointments next week on the 11th and if the final tests are ok he'll have his first chemotherapy then.
They want to aggressively treat him as soon as possible to get him into remission (as this is the most they can do) and hope that he remains in remission for a few years. They will then re-treat him in the future (while keeping him under close observation) should any flair ups occur... and, sadly we know already that they will.
His Doctors have been wonderful and both my parents and we, cannot say enough good things about both the fine Doctors and Nurses at the Victoria General and Dartmouth General Hospitals. For as brutally honest as they are about the diagnosis and details, this is how my Father asked to know. He wants to know everything, the good, the bad and the ugly.
On Tuesday the 28th, the day of the final complete diagnosis, Dad was more calm and happy than he'd been in months. He knew what he was up against now. He knows the opponent he is fighting, and that clarity have given him a new found strength. That and his faith, and love from family and friends.
When he turned 65 back on April 21st of 2006 he made a milestone for the male side of his family being the longest lived male Ellis in 4 generations... And it's his full intent to blow that record out of the water, and we'll be there supporting him in any way we can.
I will be walking again this year for the "Light the Night' walk. It's a charity event to aid the Canadian Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I walked last year with a group from my workplace, Bristol-Myers Squibb. They are a major contributor and sponsor of the event. Little did I know then that just one year later my interest and involvement in this would take on a whole other level.
I know it's an odd request, but if any of you would be interested in sponsoring me for the walk on the evening of September 28th, on Ile Ste-Hélène click here, or if you are interested yourself in participating, visit the official website here.
- - -
On the evening of Saturday September 1st, as I previously posted, When I went to take pictures of the sunset at the beach, I met my father as he was returning from his evening walk. We talked. We don't talk a lot on a deeply emotional personal level, but when we do, it's incredibly deep and heart felt. I love BOTH my parents very much. I'm more close to my mother, but in the past few years developed a much closer relationship too, with my Father. It's my most sincere hope and wish that we have many years ahead to grow closer together.
After our talk, I took a couple pics of him, I wanted to remember this moment for as long as I can. And after than he looked at me so... exposed, and so I said, "how 'bout we take a picture together?" He said he'd like that, so I set back up my tripod, set the timer and this was the result...
Wel, he had more tests done, another CAT, a Bone Marrow test and lots of blood work.... Seems it's Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. He is Grade Two, Stage Three. Basically it's 'treatable, but not curable"
The Doctor's say it's not quite a death sentence, he could easily be around five to ten years... even longer. They want to add him to a clinical trial taking place in Canada at the moment. There are only 100 spaces available for the whole country, 10 at the hospital he is being taken care of in Halifax. We're still awaiting the final OK for him to start, but he has two appointments next week on the 11th and if the final tests are ok he'll have his first chemotherapy then.
They want to aggressively treat him as soon as possible to get him into remission (as this is the most they can do) and hope that he remains in remission for a few years. They will then re-treat him in the future (while keeping him under close observation) should any flair ups occur... and, sadly we know already that they will.
His Doctors have been wonderful and both my parents and we, cannot say enough good things about both the fine Doctors and Nurses at the Victoria General and Dartmouth General Hospitals. For as brutally honest as they are about the diagnosis and details, this is how my Father asked to know. He wants to know everything, the good, the bad and the ugly.
On Tuesday the 28th, the day of the final complete diagnosis, Dad was more calm and happy than he'd been in months. He knew what he was up against now. He knows the opponent he is fighting, and that clarity have given him a new found strength. That and his faith, and love from family and friends.
When he turned 65 back on April 21st of 2006 he made a milestone for the male side of his family being the longest lived male Ellis in 4 generations... And it's his full intent to blow that record out of the water, and we'll be there supporting him in any way we can.
I will be walking again this year for the "Light the Night' walk. It's a charity event to aid the Canadian Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I walked last year with a group from my workplace, Bristol-Myers Squibb. They are a major contributor and sponsor of the event. Little did I know then that just one year later my interest and involvement in this would take on a whole other level.
I know it's an odd request, but if any of you would be interested in sponsoring me for the walk on the evening of September 28th, on Ile Ste-Hélène click here, or if you are interested yourself in participating, visit the official website here.
- - -
On the evening of Saturday September 1st, as I previously posted, When I went to take pictures of the sunset at the beach, I met my father as he was returning from his evening walk. We talked. We don't talk a lot on a deeply emotional personal level, but when we do, it's incredibly deep and heart felt. I love BOTH my parents very much. I'm more close to my mother, but in the past few years developed a much closer relationship too, with my Father. It's my most sincere hope and wish that we have many years ahead to grow closer together.
After our talk, I took a couple pics of him, I wanted to remember this moment for as long as I can. And after than he looked at me so... exposed, and so I said, "how 'bout we take a picture together?" He said he'd like that, so I set back up my tripod, set the timer and this was the result...
We hugged each other for a long time after that, and then as the light faded we returned to the cottage we built together, 25 years ago...
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Got a Favour to Ask..
I got a call from my folks tonight... my Dad finally got his results back from the biopsy done two weeks ago. It's official. the big C. All we know now is 'lymphoma' What type... not sure. How bad... not sure. Treatment... not sure. He's now back in line to meet with an Oncologist...
So, If y'all wouldn't mind, say a prayer, think a happy healthy thought, or send some positive energy in my Dad's Direction...
Wayne Malcolm Edward Joseph Ellis.
We're not done with him yet.
Thanks.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Who's my Daddy?
Well it's Father's Day, and I just got off the phone from talking to my Dad. Not surprising considering the day. Not that I only called 'cause of the day, I've talked to him 4 times this week.
My Dad's health is in question at the moment. Aside from his diabetes, he's got a bad back, and had 2 heart attacks and a stroke. And now, the Doctors say the 'C word'. They can't say yes, they can't say no. And what's worse it could be days, weeks before we have an answer. It's already been 2 weeks that we are waiting to have a surgeon look at his to CAT scans. And then even after that, no telling how long before they will take a biopsy. And then more waits I am sure, for treatment if necessary.
As helpless as I feel in being so far away from my Dad, and not being able to do anything, I can't imagine what he and my Mother are going through. It's one thing to be told 'You might have Cancer.' It's another thing to have to wait an undefined amount of time to find out yes or no.
Things have not always been great between me and my Dad. For years we really didn't talk much, if at all. Add distance and my being gay and well...
...for all the distance, physical and figurative we've got a pretty good relationship today. My parents both welcomed Didier into their home 2 years ago for Christmas, and that was the happiest Christmas of my life. It's our hope that this year they'll come to our home for the holidays.
So here we wait.
Canadian Healthcare.
*sigh*
In the mean time, here's a pic of me and my Dad, circa 1976. It was taken at Rainbow Valley in Cavendish P.E.I. (Gee, I look thin! heh) Happy times.
Who's my Daddy? He is. And I love him. And I pray with every leopard print covered ounce of my being that he's going to be ok.
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