Thursday, March 29, 2007

PEE-YEW!

To quote Bonnie McFarlane (a GREAT if not unappreciated Canadian comedian) :

"There are a lot of smells on the subway... 'stinking rich' is not one of them!"

... so there I was this morning on the Metro on my daily schlep to work, quietly minding my own business, reading my '24 heures' and listening to the Scissor Sisters, 'Kiss you off" , when we pulled into Sherbrooke station and this fur-coat wearin', Tammy Faye Baker make-up smearin'; 2 inch finger nail wearin' 'lady' walks on... The doors shut, and JUST as the cars are pulling out of the station it starts hitting everyone in the car...

The STENCH of god knows what cheap-ass ,1/2 price, knock-off perfume she was wearing started ATTACKING us all...

I swear you could see it reaching others in the car. You could tell by the instantly stunned look they got as one nostril would flair, and their eyes began to water. Before we reached Mont-Royal ( the next station) people were noticeable coughing.

At Rosemont, (3 stops after she boarded) I changed cars. I couldn't handle it!

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So here are my problems:

1) Betch was wearing fur. - and it was not faux.
2) What the hell is Betch wearing fur for in this weather?! Sure it's not quite summer yet, but Mary! winter is O-VER!
3) What the hell is Betch wearing fur, doing in the Metro?!?! (in my estimation if you can afford such a luxury item, you should have the equally obnoxiously over priced car to go with it)
4) What the HELL was that perfume?

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I can only imagine that after years of dowsing herself in that stink, -that could, if given a couple minutes, knock a buzzard off a shit wagon- has left hard-of-smelling. 'Cause you wouldn't WANT to smell like that on purpose... Would you?

And who are this person's friends and family, that they never once told her that she F**KING REEKS ?!?!?!

Here's a simple rule, if you can smell the perfume or cologne you are wearing 5 mins after you put it on... you've got on TOO MUCH! I seem to remember this even being covered on at least one episode of Oprah... where you spritz a bit into the air and walk through it. and that's it! A bottle of perfume should last more than a day!

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... and how was your morning commute?

4 comments:

N@ Lauzon said...

HOW APPRO-PO!

Did you see this?
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/story/2007/03/28/bus-perfume.html

Have a great day off!

Misster Kitty said...

LMAO! That's 'rich'!

I love this quote:

"Why is it the guy that smells like body odor or last night's booze, he doesn't get kicked off?"

Why? I'll tell ya why honey... 'cause comparatively... THEY smell like roses compared to over-dowsed cologne junkies...

Maria said...

Sitting here bored so figured why not read an old bloggy of my favorite Kitty. This one was particularly funny to me because I used to work with a fellow who I swear bought OLD SPICE by the gallon. After several weeks of tolerating it - one morning I could not take it anymore and said,
"nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?"

He never knew what to answer, but since then he is perfume free.

Maria = 1 point
perfume dude = 0

Misster Kitty said...

I swear, I'll take a nasty bout of BO over a mega dose of cologne anyday. Even the nicest cologne / perfume REEKS when the person bathes in it. God forbid if it's something 'drug store' like Old Spice, or Shalamar, or Charlie! HEH!