Monday, March 31, 2008

lost and found

Someone lost this at Cremazie Metro...

...and I found it.

Not the worst Monday ever.

Saturday, March 29, 2008


I'll give you a nickle...

... if you can tell me which shoes are N@'s and which shoes are Corn's.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


Oh you read right...


I went to see a reading of the Vagina Monologues tonight, staring none other than our own N@ Lauzon (Who was FABU btw)

It was a Québec / Canadian Star studded event...

l-r: Marie-Josee Turcotte: Yea, I don't know who she is either, Eva Avila: Canadian Idol, Kim D'Eon: um, ET Canada... I think ...

Sophie Gregoire: wife of Justin Trudeau, and Québec reporter for E-Talk. (Unfortunatly we neither saw Justin or Sophies whacky Mother-in-law Maggie.)

Tara Spencer-Nairn: Constable Karen Kelly on Corner Gas. A great comedic actress, originally from Montréal. (You HAVE to rent NEW WATERFORD GIRL. The movie is a freaking riot and she stars prominently in it... )

Patsy Gallant: Chanteuse. Singing La Vie En Rose here... (Get it?! Vaginas are pink. Subtle no?)

Kim D'Eon: again... UM.... ET Canada... Not sure but I wanna find out, cause she was DAMN GOOD! She of the Angry Motherfuckin' Pussy.

Ginette Reno: Actriss, Singer... Etoile Québecoise

...and last but certainly not least... N@ Lauzon, or as I'll refer to her henceforth... The Vadge.

One last shot... The Pussy Possé...

It was a charity event to raise money to fight against abuse to women. Held at Gallery MX. There was also a vernisage of an artist "Niko" I'm afraid to say the art did not do much for me, but at any rate I was there for the V-M... and N@!

I saw part of it once, years ago on PBS. The author had done it as a one woman show... And either my memory is slipping or I used to be a prude; 'cause I was expecting a lot more foulness and naughty words... but aside from a few angry pussy' and 'motherfucking angry' lines it was rather tame... Funny though. Very funny!

Had a great time there with Ma Horton, Corn and Twiggy... (Maria... where waz you gurl?!)

A few amusing moments...

- Corn commented at one point that he couldn't help but feel a little anger directed toward him (as a male) ... but that completely bypassed me. Fortunately, I have diplomatic immunity from such female to male aggression.

- Through-out the night I just could NOT get the Oscar Mayer Wiener song outta my head... only with a minor adjustment... "My Vagina has a first name..."

and... my favourite...

The quote of the evening...

"Vaginas. Man they're deep."

Who said that?

Why, Misster-Kitty of course!


... all in all, a fun, enjoyable evening!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Get up, Stand up.

Stand with Tibet - Support the Dalai Lama.

I received an email today from TickleBear with a link to sign an online petition to be sent to the Chinese government to stop the violence and oppression in Tibet.

It didn't take me more than the time it takes to click on the link and I had signed on. At that moment I was # 1,068,812, as I write this post it's now up to 1,073,862. The petition has only been online for a couple weeks and passed a million after only 7 days.

Take 1 minute out of your day and add you voice to this global petition.


On a personal note, I met the Dalai Lama back in the early 90's when he visited Montréal and gave a speech at one of the Universities. I was working at a bookstore on Ste-Catherine West and all of the sudden a couple of 'men in black' walked into the store and moments later, the dalai Lama glided in. And when I say glided I do mean that. It's as if he really was just hovering about the ground. And I'll say this, whether you believe in the reincarnation of the soul, whether you believe in him, you cannot escape the unavoidable and strong magnetic pull he has. I instantly felt calmer and peaceful just by his walking past the front counter and looked my way. In's actually impossible to truly express in words how that moment felt. Not a word was spoked as he walked by, but there was acknowledgement from both, of the other.

This petition is the very least I can do, and you can as well.

Sign the petition here.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Exit, stage left - x2

Penn Jilette and Kym do a Disappearing Act...

Monica Selas and Jonathan fail to succeed in the Court of public opinion...

Well, neither couple's elimination tonight was much of a surprise. Penn was just a lame goof-ass and good riddance. Monica, bless her tom-boy heart, she just was not at all graceful, but she gave it more than 100%.

Now if we can get rid of Adam Carolla...

And I'm gonna open this one to the floor... who the HELL are the Jonas Brothers?!?!

Who did I vote for?

You'd think it was...



... what with all the Leopard Print... But you'd be wrong.

Marissa and Marlee got my votes.

Now to see who goes home...

Monica and _______ (Penn or Adam?) ???

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter


...from the Motherland...

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Suck on this ...


Again, while trying to find some cute images for my blog this Easter Weekend I have again stumbled into the bizarre and slightly disturbing...

Look I'm not a prude, nor am I at all religious, at least not in the typical 'judaeo-Christian' fashion, I guess you'd call me a pagan if you had to call me something (just don't call me late for supper. bah-doom-boom!) but the thought of sucking on or eating a chocolate crucified Jesus just, well, turns my stomach.

But it doesn't stop there... oh no ladies and gentle-ladies... if you thought this was bad... check out this and this and there's so much more...

I guess you just have to ask yourself... why? And, who buys this stuff?!?!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Got ink.

Got my first tattoo today. It's of 9 crows flying around my left arm.

The pic only shows 5, but there's nine in total - three on the inside of the arm, which if you don't know is one of the more sensitive parts to get tattooed. Even the tattooist said he was impressed, because most people don't get tattoos there, at least not at first, (including himself! lol) We started there at any rate, so when we got around to the outside of the arm it felt less painful. It's not PAINFUL but, 5 hours later the arm is sooooore. Glad I did it though... And I'm hooked. I know I'll be back for more! (already talked to the guy regarding their design) woo hoo!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

LOST, you're losing me...

Seriously. Enough commercials!

It's difficult enough following LOST to begin with, having commercials every 8 minutes... pissing me off.

And um, what's all this about "Starting next week LOST goes to it's new time"... 10 PM?!?! Seriously? 10 PM!?

Not to mention that this week's episode was weak. Yea, I'm happy Libby is back... sorta, but Michael? Seriously, kill him off soon. Kay. Thanks.

this just in... good news!

Weather guru predicts six more weeks of winter News Staff

A new survey suggests Canadians are divided on whether this winter's weather was really that bad. But Canada's top weatherman suggests we save the end-of-season reflection for another few weeks.

Environment Canada Senior Climatologist David Phillips is taking over for Wiarton Willie, saying Canada's famous weather prognosticating groundhog got it wrong when he predicted only six more weeks of winter on Feb. 2.

Phillips says the six more weeks of winter will actually start today, the official first day of spring, according to current Environment Canada climate models.

Just as Phillips predicted last fall, it was a nasty winter across the country.

The Prairies spent weeks under a deep freeze, Atlantic Canada faced regular bouts of freezing rain and most of the country was buried under uncharacteristically heavy snowfalls.

Eastern Canada typically gets 10 to 15 per cent of its annual snowfall after the first day of spring, he said, noting Toronto, Ontario and Montreal still have time to break the snowfall records are in sight of this year. Toronto needs another 20 centimetres, Ottawa needs 25 centimetres and Montreal needs 26 to break existing records.

The good news is we will continue to feel better as the days get longer, he said.

But while many Canadians can be heard grumbling about what seems like an endless winter, many don't feel any different that normal, according to a new Canadian Press Harris-Decima survey.

One in 10 people polled said it was a good winter, and 40 per of respondents said they didn't feel any better or worse than normal.

However, half of those surveyed said the weather was unusually bad in their part of the country.

Ontarians complained at a higher rate than everyone else -- 65 per cent said it was unusually brutal. Those in Manitoba and Saskatchewan seemed the most accustomed to the harsh climes, with 75 per cent saying it was just another blustery winter like every other year.

In conducting the poll, 1,000 Canadians were surveyed between March 6 and March 9. The poll is considered accurate within 3.1 percentage points, 19 times out of 20.


My Heros:

Jack Frost

the Winter Warlock

Snow Miser

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Second Honeymoon

Well saints be praised, this season of Dancing with the Stars just might have a life after all.

Now I'm not saying that the women were perfect, but damned close.

Shannon Elizabeth, You didn't suck. In fact you were better than I'd have thought. You might actually go far in this ... and there wasn't even a pole in sight.

Monica Seles, oh dear. Monica, Monica, Monica. Tomboy is putting it mildly isn't it? But you tried, and that's got to count for something.

Marissa Jaret Winokur, to quote Mika... "Big Girls are Beautiful" I thought you were freaking amazing! and you very well may be 'My team'.

Priscilla Presley and her dead face aside, she was actually quite good. Far better than I or anyone at work thought she'd be, that's for certain. All I can say is lets hope that all the spinning and twirling doesn't cause the botox to settle in her feet.

Kristy Yamaguchi, you were the star of the night score wise and you got the technique but I think you'll go cold in a week or two... who knows.

Marlee Matlin rocked it! You would not have believed she was dancing in total silence. She was solid as a rock. For now I'm splitting my votes between her and Marissa.
What I think would be outstanding would be Marlee and her dance partner did a dance to no music, so that WE could all experience what she is. At the very least I will turn off the volume on the repeat performance next week, just to get an idea.

What the women have shown is that the men last night were not on game. In fact they were plainly lacking across the board. And if it were not that next week it will be a male and a female voted off, I'd say rather securely that it would have been two of the men.

Phew... I was so worried this season was gonna suck. Ladies... I thank you.

Dear Heather

Suck it up, buttercup.

Take the 25 MILLION Pounds (33 Million Euro, 50 Million Dollars) be grateful, and move the *bleep* on.

I'd have been MORE than happy to get boned by an ex-Beatle for 5 years and come out of it with that kind of cha-ching, been more gracious, and spent far less time crying to the media about it... but then I guess I'm just more of a Lady than you are.

Bitch, please.

Not impressed,

Is the honeymoon over?

Dancing with the Stars...

So I watched the season premiere last night. Male "Celebs' only danced. I can only say I was under-impressed. If I had to pick one of the couples last night, I'd have to go with Steve Guttenberg and Anna 'chiclets' Trebunskaya. And that's just because they didn't suck. They didn't excel, but they didn't suck. Then again, it was only the first night... but I don't think Jillette, or Corolla will do much better and will be within the first of this season's casualties.

Tonight is the women's turn... I'm afraid my expectations are just about as high as last night... If anything I think having to look at Priscilla's over lifted and botoxed face will be a trial of herculean proportions...

Bring back Joey, Sabrina and Mel B. ... Please.

Ma... what did you think?

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Yuck of the Irish

Look, don't ask me... 'cause I don't know either...

I thought, well, since I'm Irish I'll do a quick little post for St-Paddy's (even though I think He was fill of shite), so I went to Google Images and typed in "Irish Leopard" in the hopes of finding a cute image of a Leprechaun or some such in Leopard Print to post. What I found was nothing of the sort.

Aside from various porno images* and not one, but two images of the Hoff.

Now I don't know if this is a well hidden fact, but I never knew the Night Rider was of the Irish persuasion... well, other than his fondness for the drink...

Be that as it may, I've decided to soldier on and use the pic because, well, I was too frightened to see what other images would be revealed if I clicked on NEXT. So, to one and all, Irish for life, or just the day...

Misster Kitty and the Hoff want to wish you all
a very Kitty Happy St-Patrick's Day.

I SWEAR, I did not alter this picture in any way, shape or form. Despite the level of depraviy I may have in the past, or in the future dive; I could never, EVER have come up with this on my own. We have only the internet to blame...


* and what is WITH THAT anyway?!?! seems like no matter what search you do, ESPECIALLY in the image search, there's always some sick sick bastards lurking their with their *shudder* straight pornographic images... usually of the mondo-titty-titty-bang-bang variety.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

La Vie en Rose

We went to see La Môme (La Vie En Rose) today with friends Jason and Franco. We had all wanted to see if prior to the Oscars, but when Marion Cotillard won the Best Actress Oscar, we really had to see it. Thankfully they brought it back into theatres here, because while we'd all have gladly watched it on TV, some times you want the full movie experiece...

Surprisingly the theatre was abut 3/4 full by the time the opening credits began to roll. There were the four of us, another gay couple and one straight guy, obviously working on some brownie points... oh and there were about 100 Blue Hair specials... When the PSA to turn off your cell phones was on screen and the motto "Silence is Golden" came on, I said to my seat-mates " is this audience." We all snickered. (I don't know why I always have to go there, but I do) OH and another good zinger I got in... "At least there will be no line ups in the Men's Washroom". (I swear I'm burning up whatever Karma points I have)

OK, back to the film...

Mon Dieu!... What a tragic life! I mean, yea, ok, I knew her life was not all "en Rose" but damn! It's honestly amazing she never committed suicide - well in the traditional sense... she obviously did herself in - with all the drinking and drugs. But that barely touches the tip of the iceberg. Her life seemed one tragedy after the other. The only true highlights where when she was on stage, and then, even then so much sadness... collapsing multiple times over the years. Add to the losing the love of her life, an child to Meningitis, public scrutiny and run ins with the police... and Edith Piaf is the cover girl of the Tragic Artist's Life.

But through it all, she flourished and is the most beloved singer in France's history... even to this day.

You might not think you know many of her songs.. (specially the anglos amongst us) but when you see the film you'll recognize more than one...

"Non, je ne regrette rien"
and my favourite...
"Hymne à l'amour"

If you get a chance to see the film before it's gone for good, do so, and if not rent it!

It's Sad, yes, but oh so moving.

Such a beautiful tragedy.

And when you speak, Angels sing from above,
Every day words seem to turn into love songs.
Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La Vie En Rose.

Misster-Kitty gives La Vie en Rose 10 hairballs out of 10.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Happy Kittyversary...

Misster Kitty's Internal Voice turns one year old today.

366 days and 618 posts... not a bad start.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

family ties

Sometimes the ties that bind us are loose but they are there....

Last night Didier and I had company. Sandra, Brittney and Brianna came for dinner. And no, before you ask, they're not drag queens... Sandra is my (first) First Cousin (I in fact only have two - her and her brother Todd), Brittney (her daughter) and Brianna (Brit's friend). They're up in Montréal from Halifax for Spring Break and are on a full tilt boogie, do not pass go, shopping expedition.

I received a Facebook message a couple weeks ago indicating they were headed up to Montréal for the week and wanted to know if we could get together and what was there to do (aside from shopping) We exchanged a few emails and planned to meet.

They came up via Via (heh) and were supposed to arrive at 8 am on Sunday. We were supposed to meet at their hotel and then D. and I were going to take them out for brunch and show them around a bit. But due to the massive snow storm on Saturday, they were twice delayed en route. They only arrived at 4 am on Monday morning. I apologized to them last night, because as you will recall, I am personally responsible for the amount of snow we received.

So, to take a breather from their don't eat-don't drink-don't sleep shopping extravaganza, they did take a timeout to come by our place. We sat around the living room, munching on corn chips and Didier's delicious guacamole. I threw together a yummy meal of mango chutney pork with rice and veggies. We chatted, getting caught up; which is no small feat... while our family is small and as I've said, I only have two first cousins, our family, like many, is not without it's long time dramas and issues. I'd go so far as to say that a family without such drama is actually the truly dysfunctional type, in that dysfunctional families are the norm, at least as far as with almost everyone I know. My family being no exception.

What is remarkable is that I couldn't tell you most of what those dramas are. I really, in all honesty don't know what the issues were/are between My father and his brother (Sandra's father) that caused such family rifts over so many years. Suffice to say, they are probably as truly insignificant as those my Brother harbours toward my parents and some others of the family - we get along, but then I last saw him in Dec 2005 and last spoke in an email almost a year ago and I've got no plans to bother with him going forward... (Hmmm, so I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree). What you do do is stop trying to figure these things out. Stop asking questions. Stop trying to analyze and diagnose these things. Well, at least that what I did, mind you moving 1000 kms away from the overwhelming majority of that activity makes such cessations possible.

...back to Sandra and me...Thing is, I don't have many memories with Sandra. In fact, I can run them down for you now. (no worries it won't take long) :

- Christmas 1975 or 76 I can vaguely recall being over at my Uncle Roy and Aunt Betty's and being on the floor in the living room with Sandra and Todd, all dressed in our 'jammies' and playing.

- Aug 1997 when my Brother was married. I saw her for a bit then.

- Christmas 1995 or 96 and my Mom and I visited Aunt Betty and Sandra in their new apt, when Brit was but a wee baby...

- Christmas 2005 (do you see a trend here?!). Didier and I were at my parents and Sandra Betty and Brittney came over for a visit.

and then...
- March 12 2008, here in Mtl.

Yup, that's pretty much it! I am sure there were a few other occasions, but for all intents and purposes, these are all times I can lucidly recall being with Sandra. And yes, it's as much as a shame as it sounds.

We have a great visit last night. And what was really interesting to me, aside from interacting as adults - something it seems our parents were incapable of - was that through it all there was no baggage or issues for us. And even more comforting to me were our similar, but due to family dynamics, separate memories of our Grandmother. Though the night, without intending to, we both recounted, reminisced and recalled multiple memories of her. All the same but different... remembering the white boxes tied with string she'd bring from the French Bakery, her love of red-dyed pistachios (what is WITH those?!), her vocal dislike of nursing homes (even though the haze of old age and illness) and on and on.

Gotta say, Sandra is one fine lady. Raising her daughter alone (well not ALONE alone, but you know... single mom alone) and doing a great job of it...Brittney is turning into a fine young lady herself... although her apparent dislike of ice cream, cakes, cookies and all things 'sweet' is a bit of a caution.

We got on like a house on fire. I'm proud to call them my family and look forward to seeing them again. Didier and I have insisted they visit Mtl in the summer, when of course the list of things to do and see multiples like two rabbits in a burrow, and she scolded us that we had better not visit Halifax again without looking them up. All parties were in 100 agreeance.

So, sometimes the ties that bind are not tied too tight, but they're there.
And I'm glad they are.

Monday, March 10, 2008

You can call me Reverend.

OK, so I'm really not sure where this will all go, and I need to investigate the laws to see what if anything I can do within Canada, more specifically Québec, but as of today, March 10th 2008, I have been ordained as a minister of the Universal Life Church, Modesto, California.

My official title is now Rev. Ellis. I guess now I have to re-think that whole sneezing/bless-you brouhaha back the other week. When I bless you now... boy howdy.. am I blessing ya!

And who knows... if N@ ever makes an honest man of Corn, maybe I can preside over the ceremony. ...can't you just see me now in a head-to-toe leopard print vestment with a real dog collar.

Go in peace my children.

An apology... sorta... kinda... not really...


Ok, I admit it...It was me, what caused the freakishly amazing dump of snow this past weekend, or "White Rain" as they call it in the film "10,000 BC"

As you know, Saturday March 8th was my birthday, as well as International Women's Day (so w00t w00t you all your female-folk out there) and I asked for snow for my Birthday. Lots and lots of snow.

I guess I really need to rethink my requests and or I need to spend some more time honing my X-men-like powers... 'cause for the week preceding my birthday I kept up a rather constant mental train of though of "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday"... whenever the voices in my head would shut it for a couple of moments I'd be back at it: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday"...

As I drifted off to sleep each night: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".
As soon as I woke up every morning: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".
As I was looking out the windows: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".
As I walked to and from the metro, and when on the bus: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday", "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".

While in the shower,
doing the dishes,
taking out the garbage,
watching the news,
feeding the fish:
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday",
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday",
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday",
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday",
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".

So, just like when you over-soy when you eat take-out Chinese, I guess I over-wished for the snow.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not in the least bit sorry for all the snow, in fact, I do, indeed want to have more before this winter is through, and I'll do all within my powers (X-men-like or otherwise) to ensure that we seriously break the record books.

People have asked many many times, why I love snow so much... and the honest simple answer is I don't know. I don't ski, I don't snow board, I skate only on rare occasion ( generally in the spring or summer at le Atrium 1000 de la Gauchetière... cause it's too damned hot outside) I don't own a snowmobile or skidoo, and while I have snow shoes, they are at my parents place in Nova Scotia and we don't use em any longer cause they're over 100 years old. I do not mind being out IN the snow... walking around , and I have gone dog-sledding, and last month went to ValCartier and had fun day sledding and rafting... but in general I like to be cozied up inside, in front of a fire, looking out the window at the frosty white magical landscape as I sip a hot chocolate with chartreuse (called a Green Chaud in the French Alps, dontca know!)

I DO like to shovel snow... I guess it's a bit of the OCD in me, but I like to systematically and regularly remove the snow from the front of our building ( not only do I shovel around the front door, but do the entire sidewalk, from building to curb, from one end of the building to the other) before and after the snow plows come... I do get a lot of strange looks but I don't care, and I fight with Didier on who gets to shovel the back balcony...

I think that anything covered in snow looks beautiful...

Ok, so it's clear I like snow... now with all that outta the way, here comes the apology...

I'm sorry to those of you that have cars... well, sorta... I mean if you REALLY needed the car, wouldn't you have a garage, or underground parking, or at the very least have a snow blower to make the snow removal less of an issue... I mean we are living in the "Great White North... we have that name for a reason... be prepared here people.

And while I'm talking to the car owners, I have to say it was so nice to see so many of you on the Metro and Buses this morning, opting for the more practical mode of transport to work...( I guess you gave up on your shovelling huh?) and it was painfully clear which people ARE the regular auto-commuters... you're the ones with the stunned looks on your faces and also the ones I had to barrel through to get into the metro car because you think if you don't stand RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOORS that you'll never get out. Well guess what, it's rush hour, move inside or I'll push you in. You're also the ones that after waiting 3 minutes in a line for the bus, panic thinking a bus will never come and go to the taxi stand. Must be nice to have that kind of extra money floating around to waste on a cab in traffic like today...

...wait I was apologizing...

ah well screw it. ...

....I'm glad it snowed and I'm asking for more!


Friday, March 7, 2008

38 years and 365 days old

That another good thing about Leap Years... it give you an extra day to prepare before you get a year older.

And as is usual for me, I take my birthday off from work, but since it lands on a Saturday this year, I took today off. And as as my first official act of my Birthday Eve, I slept in. Oh yea, that's right, what better activity is there than sleep. :-) I rose at the dawn of 11:15 am. When all you working stiffs were well into your work day I was still under the spell of the sand man.

Now to have a spot of breakfast and then to start watching a stack of horror DVDs. (Didier doesn't like horror movies, so this is a great opportunity to catch up on some slash and gore) So let Gore-fest 2008 begin! I think I'll start with 30 Days and Nights.

Other than the horrorfest I might... just might take a stroll around the neighbourhood, and then come back, play a little Wii and maybe take a nap or two...

Monday, March 3, 2008

Who jinxed me?

Ok this is not turning out to be a good day!

I missed my morning bus, or rather it left early and not only myself but many other fellow commuters were left waiting in the combo drizzle-sleet-hail-freezing rain combo this morning. And then the next bus was 15 mins late... which for a bus route that is supposed to pass every ten minutes leavesu with a huge wet line of grumpy Monday morning commuters. Then, even though there is no traffic we end up losing another 10 minutes and I get to work 30 mins late and the day just continues spiral downwards... and it's not even noon yet!

I've been doing things, that, even as I'm doing them I know are wrong, and yet feel compelled to complete, against my own will. The fax is now my sworn enemy, that only continues to exist because there is no window in my office through which to pitch. I have a wicked paper cut on my thump that seems as big if not bigger than the Suez canal.

...and as I've mentioned... it's not even noon yet, so I want to know, who'd I piss off? Who jinxed me? put a hex on me? cursed my Monday? Who? huh? Who?

Saturday, March 1, 2008

White Rabbits