Monday, March 10, 2008

An apology... sorta... kinda... not really...

YES.

Ok, I admit it...It was me, what caused the freakishly amazing dump of snow this past weekend, or "White Rain" as they call it in the film "10,000 BC"

As you know, Saturday March 8th was my birthday, as well as International Women's Day (so w00t w00t you all your female-folk out there) and I asked for snow for my Birthday. Lots and lots of snow.

I guess I really need to rethink my requests and or I need to spend some more time honing my X-men-like powers... 'cause for the week preceding my birthday I kept up a rather constant mental train of though of "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday"... whenever the voices in my head would shut it for a couple of moments I'd be back at it: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday"...

As I drifted off to sleep each night: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".
As soon as I woke up every morning: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".
As I was looking out the windows: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".
As I walked to and from the metro, and when on the bus: "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday", "snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".

While in the shower,
doing the dishes,
taking out the garbage,
watching the news,
feeding the fish:
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday",
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday",
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday",
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday",
"snow on my birthday, snow on my birthday".

So, just like when you over-soy when you eat take-out Chinese, I guess I over-wished for the snow.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not in the least bit sorry for all the snow, in fact, I do, indeed want to have more before this winter is through, and I'll do all within my powers (X-men-like or otherwise) to ensure that we seriously break the record books.

People have asked many many times, why I love snow so much... and the honest simple answer is I don't know. I don't ski, I don't snow board, I skate only on rare occasion ( generally in the spring or summer at le Atrium 1000 de la Gauchetière... cause it's too damned hot outside) I don't own a snowmobile or skidoo, and while I have snow shoes, they are at my parents place in Nova Scotia and we don't use em any longer cause they're over 100 years old. I do not mind being out IN the snow... walking around , and I have gone dog-sledding, and last month went to ValCartier and had fun day sledding and rafting... but in general I like to be cozied up inside, in front of a fire, looking out the window at the frosty white magical landscape as I sip a hot chocolate with chartreuse (called a Green Chaud in the French Alps, dontca know!)

I DO like to shovel snow... I guess it's a bit of the OCD in me, but I like to systematically and regularly remove the snow from the front of our building ( not only do I shovel around the front door, but do the entire sidewalk, from building to curb, from one end of the building to the other) before and after the snow plows come... I do get a lot of strange looks but I don't care, and I fight with Didier on who gets to shovel the back balcony...

I think that anything covered in snow looks beautiful...

Ok, so it's clear I like snow... now with all that outta the way, here comes the apology...

I'm sorry to those of you that have cars... well, sorta... I mean if you REALLY needed the car, wouldn't you have a garage, or underground parking, or at the very least have a snow blower to make the snow removal less of an issue... I mean we are living in the "Great White North... we have that name for a reason... be prepared here people.

And while I'm talking to the car owners, I have to say it was so nice to see so many of you on the Metro and Buses this morning, opting for the more practical mode of transport to work...( I guess you gave up on your shovelling huh?) and it was painfully clear which people ARE the regular auto-commuters... you're the ones with the stunned looks on your faces and also the ones I had to barrel through to get into the metro car because you think if you don't stand RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOORS that you'll never get out. Well guess what, it's rush hour, move inside or I'll push you in. You're also the ones that after waiting 3 minutes in a line for the bus, panic thinking a bus will never come and go to the taxi stand. Must be nice to have that kind of extra money floating around to waste on a cab in traffic like today...

...wait I was apologizing...

ah well screw it. ...


....I'm glad it snowed and I'm asking for more!

MORE SNOW FOR YOU!

10 comments:

Newsguy Bob said...

I only WISH I was the Snow Nazi who could say "No snow for you!"

All I ask is that you keep it in Montreal, 'kay?

JB said...

On Saturday morning, I had to drive from Brantford to Burlington - in a snowstorm - to do a remote broadcast for one of our radio stations, and then back home again - in a snowstorm - and a drive which usually takes half an hour to forty minutes took an hour-and-a-half both ways, in treacherous conditions. Might be fun when you don't have kids to worry about leaving without a Dad, but it was a pretty stressful day for me and my family. Would have been nice for the radio station's client to cancel their remote, but once we agree to have them, and sign the contract, we're at their mercy, and have to fulfill it.

All that having been said, as much as you wish you had something to do with the snowstorm, you didn't - but there are some people who have cars with just driveways and shovels, but no snowblowers - because they have mortgages, and need to spend most of their money keeping their twin babies in food and clothing.
...I know you say it in fun, but it's just another perspective worth examining.

Misster Kitty said...

okay okay... No mmore snow around JB and NGB's homes and offices... but's the most I can do...

But you gotta agree... it's mighty purdy...

Jerome said...

You tell him, jb!

Also, some of us have recently injured our shoulders and also have bronchitis and didn't appreciate the multiple shovelling duties this weekend!

And now, to learn that it was you -- YOU -- who is responsible and not, as I'd previously assumed, the movement of weather systems across North America? Well, I just don't know what to make of it!

Misster Kitty said...

*SIGH*

ok fine... no more snow over Jerome's home either.

Maria said...

did you forget no snow around my house?? Thankfully I have a garage and a tempo and wonderful kids who cleaned the uncovered parts like the walkway!

Misster Kitty said...

2 kids and a garage? you're on your own sister! More snow for you! MUAHHHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

;-)

Maria said...

you are mean, evil and sinister!!

Oh hubby helped the kids shovel. He says this last dumping won't melt till August. In the middle of his shoveling he had to "piss" so he came in and got undressed, pissed, got re-dressed and then was so tired and didn't want to go out and shovel again.

He thinks the snow plow guy waits around the corner for him to finish shoveling and then passes by and blocks our driveway. Yeah, I am sure he is doing it on purpose.

I hate winter!

Cheryl (a.k.a Sherri, and vice-versa) said...

For some reason, when I read you're little "Snow on my birthday!" ditty, I put it to the tune of that Sarah Silverman classic, "I'm F-ing Matt Damon".

I've been ill, that's my excuse.

It is highly amusing watching Torontonians deal with snow, though. And the histrionics of the media just add to the joy -- don't leave your house if you don't have to, don't have a heartattack while you shovel, don't slip and break your head, don't drive in it, walk in it, or play in it -- this white shit is DANGEROUS, baby!

Love the Toronto media.

TICKLEBEAR said...

since you're so keen on having snow, couldn't you just spraysnow your windows, & leave the rest of the city alone? it is clear you don't have your powers under control. until then, go to your local hardware store, & get a few cans to last you 'till next december...
after all, MY birthday is coming up, & i'm wishing for springtime...
SPRINGTIME!!!
SPRINGTIME!!!
SPRINGTIME!!!
:D~