Thursday, August 23, 2007

Quote of the Week (19) * Special Edition*

"Lady, you REEK!"

~ Misster-Kitty
a.k.a. Shawn Ellis

- - -

So, a 'lady' got onto the #100 this morning a few stops after mine, and ended up standing beside me. No big whoop... or so I thought....

About as long as it took me to think 'no big whoop' her smell hit me. The force of the stench that wafted off her was PHE-NOM-I-NAL! The cheapest, funkiest musk perfume. Picture if you will, something from that Drug-Store standard, Coty...I imagine it's called something like Muskkk or some such. Oh, and add to that the smell of baby powder!?!?!?

Before the bus made it to the next stop I was literally coughing non-stop, and not because I wanted to be a bitch, I really couldn't stop. By the following stop I was actually retching! The stink was so profound I was dry-heaving. All I could think was 'three more stops, three more stops.'

Between the next two stops I actually pinched my nose closed and gave her a dirty look. The stop before mine I decided I needed to breathe and so I started to get up from my seat to get away from Mrs Stinky but in doing so I has to breathe HER in again and so, start coughing again.

...Misster-Kitty had had enough.

As I stood up, I looked her, full on, and said... "Lady, you REEK!", then kept on walking toward the door, coughing all the way.

The walk from my final bus stop to my office is about 5 minutes, all of which I continued to cough.

I know I've bitched about noxious smells before but never has ever had this reaction...
...that was 90 mins ago and I can still TASTE the reek in my mouth!

16 comments:

TICKLEBEAR said...

i've always loved fragrances, but some choose poorly, others overdo it. & then, some choose to overdo it with cheap fragrances...
tough morning, hey kitty!!!
let's hope you don't run into her at the end of your day...
:D~

Misster Kitty said...

I have a lift home today, thank god.

If I ever see (or more than likely smell) her, I'm just getting off the bus and waiting for the next one. I'm not repeating this morning again.

TICKLEBEAR said...

wise move...
i did mention something to that effect this summer in my old blog... during one of our heatwaves, being able to smell a guy from 30 feet or so, something's wrong right there...

John said...

In an instance like that, I'm left wondering... was it a revelation for her? will she change her ways? was she indignant and that much more determined to work her stank for the world's unsuspecting noses?

Did you say it loud enough for other riders to hear? You've got a big pair Mister. I would probably pass out before actually saying something to someone. You're my hero.

Maria said...

what did she say to that statement?

I know a guy who used so much cologne that one day I "casually" said "nice cologne, but must you marinate in it?" he explained that he has bad B.O. when he sweats so thats why he over-does it. Who knows maybe she has a reason for soaking in it.

Funny story though. Maybe your friend should spritz the car with some Coty right before you get in!! lol

Misster Kitty said...

My guess is she doesn't have a clue she stanky so much... I cannot even imagine that she has retained the sense of smell at all...

Well it was loud enough that I heard my own voice over that of Bjork on my Ipod at full crank... If I heard myself, others damned sure did.

As for a reaction, no idea, I said it to her as I rose and then headed for the front, so as to get some fresh air...

Maria said...

That is wayyyyyyy too funny and as much as I am brutally honest sometimes I don't think I could ever say something like that.

I think you need to stop taking the bus. You always seem to have some sort of hilarious story. Good for us - not so much for you! heh

TICKLEBEAR said...

to commemorate this event, perhaps we should rename you Misster-Coty....
do i hear you screaming "Nnnoooooooo!!!" through my window???? :D~
maybe the lady wears a diaper & she tries to camouflage the fact...
does this qualify as road-rage???
it did happen on the road...
:D~

Jerome said...

This amused me more than is rational.

Misster Kitty said...

Speaking of road rage.... I don't usually drive... well, no car... but we rented a car for vacation (starting in a couple hours YAY) and I have years of back road rage to vent... Could be fun! MUAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Maria said...

EVERYONE OFF THE ROADS!!

Misster Kitty said...

...unless you're actually a good driver yourself...

Maria said...

Oh I am a VERY good driver.
I don't want to tell you about my spotless record cause I don't want to jinx myself!

So have a wonderful vacances! and drive carefully.

Newsguy bob said...

Have a great vaykay and don't forget to check in with us Bloglodytes.

I'm a good driver, even though the Ministry of Transportation of Ontario sent me a letter last week, saying two speeding tickets = 6 demerit points; three more and I have to go in for an interview/scolding.

Speed limits are for wusses.

Maria said...

NGB's gonna get a scolding from the mean old Transport Dept.

Wear a push up bra and a low cut shirt and maybe you'll get off with a slap on the wrist.

Works for me! lol

Newsguy Bob said...

Yeah, but a low-cut shirt doesn't look as good on me. I think it has something to do with the hairy chest.
The push-up bra, however, makes my boobs look FABulous.