Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Things I learned from our houseguests...

1) Socks. All socks must be decorative. Have little images on them, funky coloured stripes or words.

2) Orange. This is a highly underrated colour that must apparently be worn at all times... At least one of the following should be orange: shirt, pant, shoes, socks, knickers, glasses. (I thought this rule only applied to Leopard print, but what do I know?)

3) The Weather Channel (MetéoMedia). Apparently this is one of the most interesting television channels. You should have it on all the time. And even though it broadcasts with an approximate 20 minute loop, keep it on at all times and watch it as much as you can.

4) The Bathroom Door. This MUST be closed at all times. Even when there is nobody in the bathroom, keep that door shut. Consider this is a game, meant to increase the size of your bladder and lower intestines AND the time you can 'hold it' because you always think the room is 'ocupado'. And no matter how often you DO open the door; walk past it mere moments later and it will be closed.

5-a) Coffee. Apparently we only think we drink coffee. We don't. No coffee served in North America is REAL coffee; only brown coffee scented water. It's never strong enough.

5-b) Coffee grounds. It is perfectly acceptable to put 1/2 lb of coffee grounds into the filter of a 14 cup coffee machine (this will put the coffee grinds to the top of the filter rim before any water passes through the filter, but that's ok). Then and only then is it even remotely considered Coffee.

5-c) Coffee aftermath. When placing 1/2 lb of coffee into a 14 cup coffee machine the after effects are thus:
- Each cup of coffee will have approx 3-5 mm of sediment at the bottom and possible dome more resilient grounds floating at the top.
- The Coffee grinds will expand enough to actually partially lift the lid of the coffee machine.
- No matter how much cleaning you do, grinds will remain in the water reservoir for more than 2 weeks.

6) Champagne. It is always the right time to pop a cork and share a bottle of Champagne.

14 comments:

JB said...

Hmm...
Does this mean that your house guests won't be returning anytime soon?

;-P

TICKLEBEAR said...

what they need is espresso!!!
though i can relate.
i prefer espresso or turkish coffee, you know, the kind you can leave your spoon standing upright on its own; & please, never drink till the last drop, or else... you get the dreg....
as for fashion, i dunno.
don't think orange would fit in my palette... i'm queer, but i got to draw the line somewhere...
:D~

Misster Kitty said...

Not for a while at least. ;-)
But I'll be visiting them next year, and I've got the list to reciprocate! :-)

- - -

Sure I understand they want espresso, but we have a coffee machine and you can't make espresso just by adding more grounds and hoping for the best.

Espresso is made by forcing hot water, under pressure, through particularly dark roasted ground beans. Coffee is traditionally 'brewed' either through a drip, percolator or 'french press' all use a different grind of bean, specific to their brew process.

If you want espresso and there is no espresso machine where you are staying, then go out to a café or resto to get some. (especially when there are at least 12 businesses within a one block radius of where you are staying serving espresso) :-)

- - -

Orange... I have one shirt... Hawaiian actually, I wear it for attention... otherwise Orange just is not me either.

TICKLEBEAR said...

i've got 2 espresso machines...
one electrical, the other, traditional, that you put on the stovetop.
do i hear "addict"???
:D~
as for attention, i don't think you need THAT shirt. some people just command it, others, well, they could stand naked on the corner of the street & still be ignored by most, except for the cops, of course...
:D~

Misster Kitty said...

Well I have this handful of Hugly Shirts... sometimes it's fun to wear something incredibly garrish.

Maria said...

Orange... I am NOT even queer and even I draw the line at FREAKIN' Orange.

Reminds me of "Its the GREAT PUMPKIN CHARLIE BROWN"

As for espresso believe it or not I don't really drink coffee either. Maybe the occasional Timmie's Ice Cap.

Misster Kitty said...

So aside from water, what DO you drink?

Maria said...

I LOVE WATER. I prefer it to all other drinks. I don't even like soft drinks.

So basically my drink of choice would be AQUA! I would be a cheap date. Guess thats why hubby married me. Funny thing is he doesn't really drink coffee either but will have the occasional iced tea.

TICKLEBEAR said...

what about ouzo??????
it would be a (greek) tragedy
if you didn't like ouzo???????
:D~
am i the only one who likes to drink here????

Newsguy Bob said...

So what's wrong with orange? It's all in how you wear it. I have a dark orange T-shirt that I wear with khaki chinos or beigeish shorts, and it looks alright (unless it causes a lot of snickers behind my back).

And I'm a straight, very conservative dresser.

Misster Kitty said...

TB... Um, Hello Misster-Kitty's occupation is practically 'Drinker' ;-)

NGB.. you go with your orange self!

Some people look good in Orange.. me, not so much. Didier just got an orange t-shirt (as a gift) and he looks good in it.

TICKLEBEAR said...

well, i guess he's just your sunshine now!!!
:D~

Maria said...

I can vouch for the fact the NGB is a very conservative dresser. As am I - except on those trips to the Montreal Casino - when showing a little cleavage gets the croupier on my side! lol

I have plenty of ouzo (unopened of course) that came straight from Greece. Wonder if like wine it gets better as it ages?
Now that would be a good gift for ya Bobby!

Newsguy Bob said...

OPA!