The phrase "Rome wasn't built in a day" is an extremely precise description of our on going roof top terrasse expansions. While the construction itself was completed a couple of weeks back, the process of furnishing and planting flowers and otherwise fabbing-up the place is an "in progress" process that given this weekends abysmal weather may only be completed by July 29th... 2009.
Don't get me wrong, me likey shoppie, but after this weekend I very well be through shopping for good. Couple that with the realization that I DO need a few more things, ie: 2 more planters, more flowers and more lanterns and I realize how being a monk in some distant and remote Himalayan temple with no personal worldly goods seems an attractive alternative.
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Saturday.
We borrowed friends Franko (aka Frank.N.Stein) and Jason's jeep and headed out to the the stores to get some newer, more substantial (read: not white plastic) patio furniture. Here's what we soon discovered...
a) that shit is expensive
b) a lot of that shit is poorly constructed
and
c) good help is hard to practically impossible to find.
Stop # 1 was WalMart. In fact it was Mister's first ever visit to WallyWorld and he seemed overall rather impressed. After battling through the throngs of every language known to man (EXCEPT French or English) and an ice cream at McDo, we made it out to select patio furniture and ended up doing rather well on the chair front and found six nice metal stacking chair with a sort of nylon mesh seat fabric that will let the rain through and is still cushy to the tushie.
And as well we got two chaise-lounge in the same style. Fully adjustable to aid in our relaxation (should the sun ever decide to show it's face again)
...and we got two little occasional tables for placing all those empty mojito glasses (should the sun ever decide to show it's face again)
What we couldn't really find was a table that we liked. So we decided to take what we got and leave. Easier said than done. While the back seat folds down in our friends jeep, it's still a jeep, and those chaise-lounges should be called chaise-longs. It was impossible to get all 8 chairs in at the same time, and even though we had a lot of help from an employee there, we finally threw in the towel and tried to reach our friends Richard and Kenny (who have a pick-up truck) The employee even lent up his cell phone to call. Alas no one was home, so onto plan B...
TWO trips from Wal-Mart to Home. So we loaded the ChaiseLONG into the jeep, and a few misc. shirts we picked up and I left Mister at WallyWorld and I made a quick 30 minute return trip. We threw the six remaining chairs in the back and went over to Canadian Tire at Marché Central. And can I just say here and now, that the staff at Wal-Mart on Decarie are GODS compared to the shit treatment you get at the Pneu. We DID find a great table but were not convinced it was THE one, and besides with the chairs in the back there was no way to get them home, so we just went home. Unloaded just as it begun to rain.
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Sunday.
We picked up our friends jeep again and this time went first to Reno Depot on St- Jacques. Nothing at all. Shite, Shite, Shite. (cute staff tho) Then a quick ice cream at McDo we made it to another Canadian Pneu. The staff couldn't have been more useless had they tried! I swear every question was barely answered with a no, and upon receiving the last 'no' I turned and said "Let's go this place is useless and so are the staff' the employee started to spew forth countless reasons why the largest of the companies Garden centers doesn't stock any water fountains. Whatever Mr. Minimum Wage, we got it... you got shite for stock and we're leaving to spend our money elsewhere!
Off to Homo Depot, and my gaaaaaaaaaaaawd the staff there are gorgeous, aren't they. I'll even forgive a little ignorance on their merchandise cause the staff is nice to look at. But not only are thet good lookin' but they know their shit. Saddly tho' what they were sellin' we weren't buying... at least not today (and not legally ever! heh) SO one last shot Canadian Tired (Alexis Nihon) And lo, what to our wandering eyes should appear, but the table we finally decided we wanted. A nice hexagonal number with smoked tempered glass top. It's true what the say... the third time's the charm. Almost. Guess what. There was no way in hell it was fitting in the jeep. SO we put it on hold, bought a few bads of earth for planting and headed to the Atwater Market...at 4 pm on a Sunday of the Victoria Day long weekend... death wish have we.
40 Minutes later, the jeep was crammed to capacity with verdant splendor and we retreated to home. Unpacked the jeep. I got the cedar trees replanted into larger pots and the lower back balcony planters filled with earth and floral splendor.. I even got the gay signature flower this year, one that I've always loved... Pansies! :-) And then... guess what... rain.
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Monday.
To hell with it, we went for Brunch with our bestest fag friends: Kenny, Richard, Michael, Constantine, Jason, Franko and Kevin. Well... we thought we were going to brunch. What self respecting resto in the bloody gay villages DOESN'T serve brunch on Victoria Day... a day named for and in celebration of a QUEEN... well I'll tell you... Food. That's who. Whatever, they had a good table d'hote. We had an enjoyable meal even as the sky threatened '40 days and 40 nights'. Then we split up: Didier and Kenny in the Pick-up were off to get that damned hexagional table, I and Richard walked over to do some grocery shoppin', Michael and Constantine stayed to sip their wine (they're professionals) and Franko, Jason and Kevin went home.
By 3:45pm it was done. The new table was now up on the deck...
...and we had all the furniture we were gonna buy and it was all on the roof. Some on it's side and some in a box, but it was there. Along with plants in a corner and empty planters all around. Did I mention the monsoon?!?! and I ain't talking Edina or Saffie.
But wait, what's this?!?! at 5:30pm the rains stopped, the clouds parted and the sun re-appeared. we assembled the table and then ran back down stairs. JEZUZ it was cold!
SO... at the end of a 3 day weekend where we should have been able to completely prepare the roof top deck for a summer of fabu-entertaining, we are...
...under construction...
