Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Judge Kitty

If I was a Judge in my very heavily Rose Tinted World, this is the sentence I would pass, for THIS waste of Oxygen.

First we will say that she only made 10,000 prank calls. (Not one more or less.)

She would be sent to prison for a period equal in days to the number of calls made: 10,000 days or in other terms roughly 27 years, 5 months (give or take a day)

Further she will have to wear at all times a cell phone that receives ONLY incoming calls, and must answer every call within 4 rings or else receive an electrical shock that would stun but not cause any permanent damage. She would then have to remain on that call for a minimum of 90 seconds. (for every missed call an additional 5 seconds would be added to the minimum time required to remain on the line). Any call that she disconnected from would also give a shock and add 5 seconds to the minimum time required to remain on the line) - no time would be added if the call was disconnected form the originating caller.

The number associated to her phone would be given to each and every telemarketing company, sales department of newspapers, paving - roofing - carpet cleaning company etc. She would not be able to decline any incoming call and would only be able to answer questions with an automated, pre-recorded "Yes, please continue" reply.

Eligibility for parole would only be possible after half of the time served, AND if it were found that she would no longer to be a high risk of re-offending.

After release, any further single instance of prank calling would result in a repeat of the full initial sentence with NO chance of parole.

Judge Kitty has spoken.


Kevin Is The New Shirley said...

Remind me not to piss you off.

Sidebar: I like your punishment WAY more than what she actually got. Psychopath.

Misster Kitty said...

I think you're safe... at the very least you're a card carrying homosexualist and that alone if stronger than diplomatic immunity... besides you've got yourself a temper and caustic wit, I sure as hell wouldn't wanna cross you either! lol