Friday, January 18, 2008

Heaven can wait.

I was speaking to my folks last night. Dad just started his 7th (3 week) course of treatment. The doctors are as pleased as ever with how well his body is taking to all the drugs and injections and pills and so on. While he's not pain or discomfort free, when you consider he's a 5 injections a day Diabetic, who's also had a stroke and 2 heart attacks in the last 7 years, he's doing far better than even they could have hoped; which DOES help him through the neuropathology, fevers and many frequent visits to the 'reading room'. He's vastly more optimistic than he was even at the onset of the treatments.

Mom has really been amazing through all of this. Stepping up to the plate and not only waiting on Dad, hand and foot, becoming the official household driver for all trips large and small, but also because through all this, her own Mother has been hospitalized twice. The latest only this past Monday. We don't know how long my Grandmother will be there. She had become dehydrated as she was not eating and drinking as she should at home, and despite my Mother's, my Uncle's and the VoN's best interests, they had to re-hospitalize her. She was on an IV for 2 days but is now back on solids and understands that while she is, as she said, "ready to head on up and meet God" she is not ready to do so from a hospital bed, and wants to be home. And 'Home' means eating and drinking and taking care of herself as best she can and relying on everyone else to do what she cannot or should not be doing.


I called my Grandmother this morning during a break at work. Her voice instantly perking up as soon as she knew who was on the phone. When I asked her what she thought she was doing, she replied, "Oh my dear, I'm just waiting for you to come home and take me up to the Pearly Gates." to which I replied, "Well then you've got one heck of a long wait on your hands, because I'm in no hurry to go up 'there'." She laughed and said, "Well ok, but don't keep me waiting too long, I'm not getting any younger..."

I can understand her state of mind. She's 93, will be 94 in 2 months and has out lived every other member of her generation of family and friends. While fiercely independent and living in her own home, the past couple of years have seen a drastic slow down in her strength, and ability. She has never been one to cope well with others doing for her. And even with her children and grand children and great grand children and neighbours doing what they can, she is admitting defeat. She's lived a long and happy and otherwise healthy life and realizes, there's not much time left and nothing to do. It's not a waiting game any of us look forward to I think, and she's just tired of it all.

While I wish her continued years, I too wish her all that her heart desires and understand that she's made her peace and is ready to meet her maker. But I'm sorely afraid to say,but if I am indeed her Earthly Escort to the Great Beyond, then, Heaven can, nay, will just have to wait.

(This is the two of us taken Aug 29th 2007)

Love ya Nanny...
Get comfortable, you're not going anywhere just yet.


Maria said...

awwwwwww how sweet.

She is so lucky to have such a loving grandson in her life.

Misster Kitty said...

Yea... and she loves me so much that she wants to take me with her!


Maria said...

She can have you --- when your 93.
Tell her you plan on sticking around till then.


you make me miss my ninnie (eugenie). but she passed away back in'86...
enjoy yours!!