Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Bless myself.

Well it's decided; going forward, when I sneeze, I'll bless myself, and to hell with everyone else!

It's a bit strange, but in my office people are always sneezing and one in particular always starts sneezing, everyday,like clock work at 3:30 pm. I swear, you could set your watch to her. Besides her of course many others sneeze, including on occasion even myself.

Now, I was brought up with manners and when someone sneezes near me I say "Bless you." or "Gesundheit!", or "À tes souhaits". And I do this each and every time. I even bless sneezers on the street, in the Métro and so on.

Others too, bless the Sneezer here in the office, that is unless it's me.

I swear to god, no one blesses me when I sneeze! What's up with that?!

No word of a lie - I've been keeping notes at the office. Since January 3rd of this year there have been over 100 sneezes, (103 as of 5 pm today) by others, ALL of which I've politely blessed. Whereas, I have sneezed 14 times and not in one instance was I blessed. So in the last 4 instances I've audibly 'Bless myself'ed, thinking that someone might comment on my one blessing, picked up on their dromming the blessing ball... but not even!

What gives?
Am I tainted?
Am I evil?
Am I beyond the blessing?
Am I unworthy of a bless you?

Seriously, I have to say I'm more than a little bemused by this.

I work with 7 people directly in the same room. All I consider more than simply 'co-workers'. We all get along and we all share about our lives, are interested and enquire about others.

Well that's it! As of tomorrow, they can sneeze all they want, I will bless them no more. Sneeze heathens!

I will however continue to bless myself.

---

Tomorrow my boss is bringing a Lasagna, someone else is bringing some fruit, and I am baking a cheesecake... I think I just might sneeze on that cheesecake when I'm done baking it.

Just because.

13 comments:

Cheryl (a.k.a Sherri, and vice-versa) said...

Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode, where they tried to replace "Bless you" with "You're so good looking!"

But seriously, you've been counting? Obsessive?

I too am a bless-you-er. And champion sneezer. No little girly sneezes!

Sean Newbury said...

Yea I count! and OH YEA... I'm a little OCD! heh

I realized back in Dec (when a lot of us were sick), that while I Bless You'ed I was not blessed in return. So after the New year I thought I'd pay a little closer attention... and as they say... VOILA!

Bob said...

Bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you
bless you bless you bless you
bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you
bless you bless you I'm an a-hole bless you bless you bless you a big hairy a-hole bless you bless you

Bob said...

Don't you find that whole "bless you" thing a little Pavlovian? It's total impulse.

We have a (weird) co-worker who is in the control room during several newscasts. The control room is open-concept like the rest of the newsroom/studio. He sneezes a lot, but only when microphones are on. He let it slip to someone once that it's his way of saying hi to his mother. Dude is whack, yo.

So, someone's bringing fruit and the fruit is bringing a cheesecake? ;)
I heart you, Kitty.

Sean Newbury said...

heh! thanks NGB... :-)


I guess it's sorta Pavlovian but still I'm cognitive enough to be aware that it's going on and make sure that all were blesed... and you're only too aware when you yourself sneeze, and tell me... when you're in a room full of people and you sneeze and receive no bless you, don't you feel a little diminished?!

As for sneeze on purpose loudly person... dude is whackity-whackity-whack! Fo shizzle my Bizzle.

And did I mention it's AMARULA cheesecake... it's got a whole cup of the stuff in it. Last time I took one in the women were all worshipping me... now if only there were some good looking men there ... I'd take the cakes in daily! As of 7:10 there has been no sneeze administered to the cheesecake... but there's still time...

XUP said...

I believe it's because they recognize that you're already in such a divine state of blessedness that they wouldn't be so presumptuous as to believe that they could possibly add to it. So, don't sneeze on the cheeze -- it would only diminish you to defile beautiful food.

Maria said...

Consider yourself blessed and I can't believe you have been keeping count. That would be funny if it wasn't so damn weird! heh!

Amarulla yum! save me a slice.

Bob said...

Amarula? Isn't she the bee-atch from The Apprentice or one of them reality-type shows on the teevee?

Sean Newbury said...

Divine I might be, but come on!...couldn't someone have slipped up and given at least one B-Y?!

And I didn't sneeze on the cheese, but only cause I will be having some and taking some home for the man, and he does not deserve the cheese to be sneezed...

Amarula is YUM YUM YUM! We add it to hot cocoa, I make ice cream with it and now cheesecakes. The stuff is YUMMILICIOUS!

Maria said...

NGB: The bee-yatch on the Apprentice is AMAROSA. Has she not gotten fired yet? Are her 3 seconds not over yet?

As for amarula, I am not big on liquor but that stuff is yummy and smells just as yummy! I received a bottle of it as a gift in a draw and I have been hooked ever since. Maybe not as hooked as Kitty but still hooked.

BTW, I sneezed while typing this post. So Bless me!

Sean Newbury said...

e-Bless you Maria.

Maria said...

why thank you and this means alot after you said you are NOT blessing anyone anymore! LOL

Sean Newbury said...

A) I don't work with you.
B) You have actually already Blessed me.
and
C) it was an e-sneeze, ergo, an e-bless you.