Monday, November 26, 2007

SOL

Snort Out Loud.

I snorted out loud today, and it's all N@'s fault!

See here's the thing...

...you might not know it but I'm not Celine Dion's biggest fan. I'm nary her smallest fan either. I don't hate her, but I don't like here either. Lets just say, for argument's sake that I tolerate her.

What you may or may not also know, although I've been more than vocal on this point here in my blog, on crackbook and in countless email and conversations with countless people and that is that there's one song in particular that snags my craw, and that my bloglidyte friends is "One Heart".

Now you might say to your self, 'Hey Kitty, that's not such a bad song. It's even kinda catchy.' and that's just the point my friends. Yes. It's catchy. A little too catchy if you ask me. I'm convinced that there's some secret message at a high frequency that although we cannot hear it, we are being brainwashed by...

For hours after hearing The Song, I will be humming and singing it. I can't help myself. It's as if I've been hypnotized, or brainwashed into thinking I like it, and therefore I want to hear it more and to fill in the void from when I hear it on the Mix, I sing it to myself...

But the re-programming is weak and incomplete (at least for now) and I usually come to my senses within a few bars of the song.

And if it's being played while N@ is at work, I'll immediately email her. Cursing her. Hexing her. Wishing plagues on her and the station.

...which brings us back to today, and my N@ induced Snort.

At 1:40 pm todat N@ was playing THE SONG, and as soon as I heard it start I emailed her the following:

Subject: SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

Body: ONE HEART..
Muchos Grass-Ass!
I kid!
:-P



But because N@ is evil, she knew what was coming and before I could volley off my latest hate email to her about that cursed song, she emailed me. And as my email was being sent to her, I was already received the following email from her:

Subject: hehe

Body: In fact there was no body written... she simply sent a silent sting, of another arrow through my...

One Heart...

...you are followin'.
One dream keeps you wondering.
Love lights your way through the night...

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Curse you Céline Dion!
Curse you MIX 96!
Curse you N@ 'already 35 years old' Lauzon



Even as she torments me, she makes me laugh...

and...

...SOL.

5 comments:

TICKLEBEAR said...

i would think you're just a "closeted" fan of celine, unwilling to come out publicly.
to take such a stance shows a clear & definite interest into the subject.
come on kitty!
let yourself go!
repeat after me:
"i luv celine"
"i luv celine"
"i luv celine"

you'll feel so much better
after you've done so, & accepted it,
that you won't feel so plagued next time you hear the SONG...
promised!!!
but you've got to let yourself go with it first...
can you???
:D~
let's see if kitty can do his coming out!!

Misster Kitty said...

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaa. ...

Not gonna happen TB... nice try tho.

:-)

URBAN PEDESTRIAN said...

I think once upon a time Celine was probably human-like and then she died of consumption, so they made an android of her. Sort of like the same thing that happened to Cher except that Cher puts on a pretty good show.

JB said...

I met her. Very early on, maybe just as she was releasing album #2.
She wasn't that nice, actually.
I remember - just before meeting her (I was 'next in line') - that there was this group of grade-school-aged kids from a French school in Halifax SCREAMING THEIR HEADS OFF - CRYING - REACHING OUT TO TOUCH HER HAND - SHAKING UNCONTROLLABLY.
My mind wandered as I wondered what they all might have ingested before getting there.

TICKLEBEAR said...

@ JB
would you be in the best of moods after dealing with a bunch of hysterical kids?????
i wouldn't!!!!
but that's just me....

@ kitty
was only trying to help...
:D~

@ N@t
how come you play THAT song,
which admitedly is far from my favorites, when she has more recent material to feature?????...

just a reminder why, when i work,
(WHEN being the keyword here...), i have my mp3 player, so i'm not subjugated to other people's radio,
so i don't have to listen to sylvain cossette or annie villeneuve...
you don't know your luck, guys, not having to do with annie villeneuve!!!!!!!
YIKES!!!!!!!!!
that would have kitty crying tears of blood, i kid you not!!!!
so be happy you only have to contend with celine...
be grateful for small mercies.
there is worst than that in this world!!!
:D~
"one heart!!..."
joking...
:D~