Thursday, March 19, 2009

Shoes

Every sign of the Zodiac rules a different part of the body; Pisces rule the feet. You can always spot a Piscean in one of 3 ways:

1) Their feet are invariably crossed (giving their feet the appearance of a fish tail) This is true if we are sitting, standing or laying down. If it were possible to drive a vehicle safely and comfortably with our feet crossed, we would. Even as I am typing this at my desk, my feet are crossed under my chair…

2) If they are wearing shoes, they are well worn (and by ‘well worn’ I mean practically disintegrating). We want our feet to be as comfortable as possible, so once we find a pair of shoes we feel good in we wear them til they fall off our feet. (more on this in a little bit)



3) We don’t like to wear shoes if we can help it. We will wear the least amount of footwear possible, given the season and where we need to be. Personally I am barefoot most of the time at home, even thought I have a fierce pair of fuzzy leopard print slippers. If I am at a park, in someone’s backyard, at the beach etc I am bare foot. We like to feel as connected to the Earth as possible and that means that socks and shoes are IN THE WAY. In the summer I will wear sandals or flip-flops if I have to leave the house. I have 3 pair of flip-flops and another 4 pair sandals. When we CAN be barefoot, guaranteed… we will.

When I was a younger my parents used to have to fight with me to put shoes – of any sort – on my feet. Once the school year was over I would wear shoes only when absolutely necessary. Eventually my parents relented and I only had to wear shoes when we went into stores, restaurants, church etc. Once we got back to the car, off they came, along with the socks. Of course I’d have been just happy to go to all of those places barefoot as well, but stupid society and it’s “no shirt, no shoes, no service” rules! Fascists! By the end of summer I could do jumping jacks on a floor covered in broken glass with out any ill effect.


So, yesterday while strolling through the local shopping centre, I looked down at the shoes on my feet - and by “on” I mean hanging by a thread – then flashed to two other pairs of shoes at home in similar states of decomposition and decided something had to be done… I’m serious; the shoes I was wearing were bought in 2001 and the soles were so worn that an onion skin would have been more effective… and the pairs at home, well one pair, brown leather loafers - with the nicest square toe - are in such disrepair – even though I have on no less than 5 separate occasions sewed the pieces back together to the point that one did not have to look too closely to be reminded of Frankenstein’s monster… all that was missing were two bolts sticking out of the heel.

There was only one thing to do…



TIME TO SHOP!

Here’s the problem, while I like to shop I’m what you call an impulse shopper. I see it, I like it, I buy it. For most clothing I don’t need to try it on, which suits me fine because I hate those claustrophobic (under surveillance) change rooms and the constant on and off and on and off… and with shoes it’s worse cause there’s the test walking, does it feel comfortable? I know it SEEMS comfortable but 10 minutes after I put them on I’m gonna get blisters, I know it….

Well I sucked it up, and went into one, two, three and then a fourth store until I not only found shoes I liked to look at, but hugged me feetsies and fit fit fit! And most glorious of all were marked down an additional 505 off their already 30% off price. I got two pair of ’dress’ shoes for work (one black and one brown) and after taxes… $50.77 !! Cha Ching! (Oh yea, I forgot to mention the forth way to spot a Piscean is by how little they will pay for good shoes… We want comfort damn it, but we refuse to pay for it! We rule the feet people, we demand free footwear!)

The first thing I did when I got back to the office was chuck that pair of shoes in the poubelle and once home did the same with two other pairs.

And the even better part of this is I still need to look for one more pair as I chucked a pair of ‘casuals’ that need to be replaced. Guess what I’ll be doing at lunch today…

- - -

As for the pic above, that’s Kelly. Don’t know Kelly? Not up with your alterna-reality web phenomena… then you MUST watch….


10 comments:

John said...

Let's get some shoes betch!

tee hee

This makes me laugh, every time.

Glad you found such great deals. I need to get some new shoes myself.

Misster Kitty said...

Shut the fuck up! (not you John, heh) I FLIPPING love Kelly. Whenever I see one of my fav 'Mo friends, either in person or online we grret each other simple with "Shoes!" there is no need ot say anything more... it's like Aloha....

Newsguy Bob said...

I'm an Aquarian, and I too detest shoes, and wear them only when absolutely necessary.
One year when I was a kid, my Dad picked us up at school on the last day before summer vacation, and we headed right for the cottage. Off came the shoes and socks. A few weeks or even a month later, when I needed the shoes, I couldn't find them. They were under the back seat of the car.
Similar incidents happened other years.
Kitty, it took you almost the whole summer to do the dance on glass thing? Three or four days tops for me and my feet.

XUP said...

I'm an Aquarian and I would love to be able to wear only shoes I can slip on and off, except I can't walk too far in those. What part of the body do Aquarians rule?? And where are the photos of your new shoes?

Cheryl (a.k.a Sherri, and vice-versa) said...

As a fellow Piscean, I fully concur. I was, in fact, just thinking that I neeed new shoes -- I have a pair of running shoes with a big hole in them, and my fave pair of work shoes are starting to show their age. I don't do flip flops, but I have a pair of comfy Chaco sandals that I have an emotional attachment to -- when their predecessors shuffled off this mortal coil, I composed an ode to them. I must have happy feet!

Misster Kitty said...

For those NOT in the know....

Aries rules the head, brain, eyes, face and muscles.

Taurus rules the neck, throat, thyroid gland, larynx, chin, lower jaw, ears, tongue, vocal chords, jugular vein and tonsils.

Gemini rules the hands, fingers, arms, shoulders, upper ribs, lungs, bronchial tracts, trachea, thymus gland, nerves and nervous system.

Cancer rules the breasts, breastbone, stomach, digestive system, lower ribs, womb and pancreas.

Leo rules the heart, upper back, spine, spleen and the aorta.

Virgo rules the sympathetic nervous system and the lower digestive tract.

Libra rules the lower back (lumbar region), kidneys and adrenal glands.

Scorpio rules the genitals, bladder, cervix, urinary tract and prostate gland.

Sagittarius rules the liver, hips, thighs, pelvis and the femur.

Capricorn rules the bones (skeletal structure), joints, knees and teeth.

Aquarius rules the circulatory system, ankles, Achilles heal, calves and shins.

Pisces rules the feet and the immune system.

Misster Kitty said...

Baseed on the list above Bobby it makes sense about you and your feet too.

Cheryl... Poetry for shoes... you're one freakass Pisces! I love it!

Mitzi said...

I'm a Taurus when I was a child I did a wheelie on my bike and hit my chin on a car's exhaust pipe, seven stitches and I'm scared for life. If people see my scar I tell them it's from a very expensive cosmetic procedure. I've had countless bouts of tonsilitis and I snore like a pig apparently. So they is some truth in it.

John said...

I rule the "bones"... heh heh heh heh heh... I thsaid bone.

Misster Kitty said...

Indeed you did John and you listhped as you thsaid it... heh