Saturday, February 27, 2010

My Olympic Hero

Name - Kwame Nkrumah-Acheampong
Origins - From Ghana born in UK [Glasgow, Scotland]
AKA - The Snow Leopard
Hometown - Mamfe Akwapim
Location - Prowling Alpine Areas
Height Standing - 5ft 10 Inches
Weight - 85kg
Paw Size - Large
Eye Colour - Cat Brown
Food - Carnivorous
Music - Anything with a good beat/grove
Sports - Alpine skiing and most competitive sports
Family - Married with 2 kids
Education – 2 degrees [M.A Tourism Management]
Ground Speed on Paws – Last timed over 100m – 11.23 seconds
Fastest Ground Speed on Skis – 90km per hour

Kwame was born in Glasgow 1974 whilst his father was studying for a masters degree at the University of Glasgow. Kwame then returned to his homeland of Ghana and then also lived in Zambia, Nigeria before returning back to Ghana for his formative years. In 2000 Kwame left Ghana to return to Britain where he settled in Milton Keynes.

As well as being a professional ski racer Kwame has achieved academic success completing a first degree in Geography and Tourism in Cape Coast University, central Region, Ghana. He then went on complete a Masters in Westminster University in Tourism Management(MA). Kwame is married with two young children. He admits to being a sporting fanatic and achieved some success with other sports including tennis, badminton, football, basketball, volleyball, badminton, table tennis and athletics.

Kwame achieved his dream of qualifying with a points tally below 140 points whilst racing in the Iranian National Championships on invitation from the Iranian ski federation. His qualification races also saw The Snow Leopard compete in Italy, Greece, Bosnia, Germany and France.

Kwame, The Snow Leopard has qualified for the Vancouver Winter Olympics 2010 and will be representing Ghana. Being from African heritage and from a country without snow makes his participation particularly special, he is the first skier from Ghana and one of only a handful from the African continent. What makes Kwame’s dream and journey to the Olympics even more incredible is that be only starting skiing just over 5 years ago at the Xscape in Milton Keynes, England.

Squares to Spare.

Due to recent 'activities' I'm a fan of a reliable TP supply...

Just back from the store...

Truth in advertising...

Now we're talkin'...

I HATE it when they put the roll on backwards...


For the more 'anal' among us...

Coming soon from APPLE... the iPoop...

My Queen...

Ask me about my explosive dirrhea...

...and other amusing images.

I'll admit it, what I like most about FaceBook is finding fun pics to use for my Profile Pic, that are NOT me, but that in a nutshell encapsulate what is going on, what I'm doing and so on...

Here's a little recap of some of em...

APOOcolypse Now!

Well to be honest, not just now, but for a week now.

For those of you not on CrapBook let me bring you up to date... Since LAST Saturday afternoon, almost one full week now, I've been pooping up a storm... well I say "pooping" in the looses sense of the term (literally. Pun Intended) Seems I picked meself up a right nasty gastro bug.

It's incredible really. I mean to me it's become staggering, in a week I've gone through a complete 16 rolls of toilet paper!

I took off Monday and Tuesday, because to be frank there was no way I'd have made the hour long commute to work.

By Wednesday, or Day 5 as I call it, I decided that aside from getting a very lard cork there was no stopping me and so I sought out professional help. So I left the house at 8 am and headed to one of the more efficient walk in clinics in the city. It only took two hours to see the Doctor (and only 3 trips to the VERY public washrooms)

It's not an easy thing to talk face to face with a complete stranger and detail the rather colourful and embarrassing events of the past few days but as I was really more than ready to be done and over with the soup factory I'd become that I didn't really care.

After some poking and prodding, his concern was no so much something viral but something internal and so off to the Emergency for a 'scan' I was sent. Sill me I thought it would be something like an ultra sound...

By 11:20 AM I get to the Emerg but even with the Dr's requisition I still have to be put through the system...

Triage and Registration take an hour. And when I get to the waiting room (after a deposit at the Porcelain Bank) my hopes are not doing well, the room is FULL. Magically a mere 10 minutes later I hear "Mr Ellis, Room Six. Ellis. Room Six." Am I delirious? Am I so dehydrated that I'm imagining this?

It's approximately 12:30PM as I enter room Six. The first thing I see is that it has an en suite washroom... the second thing I see is that this is the Gyno examining room... but seeing as it's got it's only toilet I don't care so much.

The Doctor is a pro. She strides into the room and opens with "So you're having a pretty shitty week I hear?..." I like her. I like her alot! After 30 minutes of talking she rattles off a list of "what we're gonna be doing": a culture smear (yea I;d never heard of that before), blood work, stool samples and the aforementioned scan. She explains that this is a CT scan (in my head all I'm thinking is "I have diarrhea... DIHARHEA!?!?! what the hell?!")

She leaves and I'm left in near silence for the next 30 mins. Then the first of what I seem to recall as 4 nurses arrived. Arrived with a tray of needles and vials. After seven, yes SEVEN attempts at drawing blood (five in the arm and twice in my hand) she admits defeat and says she'll send another nurse to get my blood. "Thank you nurse Ratchet" I think and drop back onto the strecher.

20 mins later another nurse arrives with a liter bottle of some Spanish inquisition type beverage that I am to consume. "It doesn't taste all that good, so I've been told. Sorry. I'll be back in ten minutes to see how you're doing" And she was right it DID NOT taste good at all. Sweet and sour at the same time, with none of the deliciousness of a chinese feast. Oh! and it has the consistency of dish soap.

as I'm drinking this the third nurse arrives to get me blood... and guess what? yup! she fails as well... three more attempts. It is concluded that due to my dehydration my veins have collapsed a little. Lovely. But, BUT... they have to get an IV into so she keeps spearing me. On the 12th attempt she is able to get a vein and takes my blood and inserts an IV and then Nurse Two returns with a toilet on wheels and asks me to provide a "sample". "Not a problem" I say...

But it is a problem. Because I've not eaten since the night before there is nothing left inside of me, and because I'm so dehydrated I have nothing left. I am literally Empty. This is where the Culture smear comes in. The Doctor returns, with a latexed hand, she says "Roll over and push." And She's in. I reply "What? No Dinner? No Movie?" Then she says we really still need some samples, give it another try..."

Anybody (other than TB probably) know what colour human bile is. I do. It's actually a rather nice shade of green.

Finally some rest. I'm alone in the room until 5:00 PM. I'm told that I have to be moved and I'm taken to the over-flow / nut-job area... basically a locked corridor between Emergency and the rest of the hospital, but they give me a nice easy chair and park me next to the washroom. I make a couple of phone calls (Work, Pinky) and then return to my chair. Fortunately I've had my iTouch and have had soothing music and games to occupy my time... but the battery is almost out. Being the savvy man that I am I've brought my charger cord with me and lo, there is a power outlet right beside the chair. This day is starting to turn around.

At 6:15 PM, with my IV done, I'm escorted to the Scanning room. They set me up and hook the IV intake to what they tell me is an Iodine Injector. Sounds lovely, no? The tech informs me that there will be a slight discomfort when the injector starts. And she's right, IF by "slight discomfort" she meant a "seething electrical type shock with an accompanying burning sensation going up your arm" Fortunately it only lasts 5 or so seconds and the whole scanning process is only about 3 minutes.

Back to my arm chair, it's now 7 Pm and I spot Pinky's face in the waiting room. I call him into the hallway I'm with. This is when i notice the caution sign attached to the curtain by my chair. Seems I'm still high risk and that I realize is the reason I was separated from the rest of the herd. I feel proud.

Bless his heart, Pinky came directly from work and has been looking for me in the waiting room just after I was taken for the scan, but he waited (like the name of the room suggests) for me. and continued to stay with me through the evening. Making me laugh (which was needed because to tell you the truth, while I like being by myself and require "me time" this is not the sort of time you like being alone.

At 10:15 PM The radiologist comes by and confirms that everything is "clean inside". (No Shit! I think... - oh wait, that's like a double double entendre...)

By 11:00 PM I'm exhausted and just wanna go home. The Doctor - another Doctor actually. A Cute, handsome McSteamy Doctor arrives. Asks me all the same questions I've been asked at least three times already throughout the day, and it's deemed "a nasty viral bug" We talk about possible causes and treatments and decide that letting it 'run it's course' (again pun intended), Provided," i say, "that you give me a note excusing me from work". He writes me a note, having me off work til next Wednesday, allowing time for things to pass and then, 'firm up'.

We leave the Hospital at 11:30 and I get home a little after midnight....

And here Three days later, things ARE beginning to firm up. GOD I still wish i know where and wow I picked this bug up, because to tell you I DO NOT want to go through this again...

... on the plus side I'm down a few pounds, so it's not been a complete waste of time! lol

Monday, February 22, 2010

Name That Movie.

Can you figure out the movie, by the quote?

- Pick 20 of your favorite movies.
- Go to and find a quote from each movie.
- Post them in a note for everyone to guess.
- Crossout when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
- NO GOOGLING/using IMDB search functions.

- Only ONE GUESS per comment post.
- state the Number and what Movie you think the quote is from.

Good luck!

01 Person One: You have got to get over this Tammy Wynette fixation!
Person Two: Well, someone's got to carry on her legacy now that she's gone!
Person One: You've been doing this for twenty-three years! What was your excuse before she died?
Person Two: My mind's a blank.

02 Come on now, be honest! Which one of you wouldn't rather listen to his hairdresser than Hercules? Or Horatius, or Orpheus... people so lofty they sound as if they shit marble!

03 He: Well, something had to come through the window! Something had to break the stereo!
She: And why is the carpet all wet, *Todd*?
He: I don't *know*, Margo!

04 Arlena and I were in the chorus of a show together, not that I could ever compete. Even in those days, she could always throw her legs up in the air higher than any of us... and wider.

05 Shut up, shut up, shut up! Your voice is giving me Mono! -Kevin

06 Person One: Where'd you get this number?
Person Two: I looked it up in the book, under 'D' for dickhead.

07 He: How do you do?
She: Mutual, I'm sure.

08 She #1: Let me help you with your duffel bag.
She #2: [confused] My things are in the Cabriolet.
She #1: Oh, I'm sorry. That's just your ass.

09 Does the phrase "Needledick, the Bug-Fucker" mean anything to you? - Kevin

10 I like rich people. I like the way they live. I like the way I live when I'm with them. -Meaghan

11 Don't be such an old poop! -BobbyKatz

12 Oh Fuck! FUck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

13 Are you crazy? (points to a squished fly) You just killed a transmigrating soul. I mean that could have been Beethoven, Boticelli... Jack Benny.

14 Put... ze candle... *back*!

15 Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a "bitch". And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or "shiv", and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities. (short pause) This way to the cafeteria! -Kevin(& Poodle)

16 All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve. -Kevin

17 I am reaching the point where I would kill someone for the nicotine under their fingernails.

18 I even made poor Louis take me on Crusade. How's that for blasphemy. I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn... but the troops were dazzled.

19 That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!

20 You know, for a heterosexual, you tie really good knots.

Don't Stop Beleiving... on and on and on... giggity.

It might be a guilty pleasure of mine, but I love those mid eighties rock ballads of Journey and it seems I'm not the only one...

I'm sure some of you (heh) are familiar with the Glee Version and perhaps some are familiar with the family Guy version, but it does not end there. So in an effort to contrast and compare... I offer you a small selection of covers and tributes...

The Original...

Family Guy...
(The volume isn't the best but it picks up after 10 seconds)

Family Guy on helium...


SpongeBob Squarepants...

Sam Tsui...
Pretty damn cool if you ask me...

Saturday, February 20, 2010

the 2010 Winter Manlympics

As revealing as some Winter Sport uniforms are... I figure that we may as well just take the next step...

Here we see our Mascot...

The Curling Team...

Snow Boarding...


And Skiing...

Is anyone else enjoying the Olympics?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Misster-Kitty; Professional Mouser

(With all apologies to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart)

Die FuckingMouse!

It's no real shock, considering the building I live in is a little over 100 years old, but I am lo to report that Misster Kitty has Mice.

They seeming have come out of no where, but this I know is not the case. However I will say they have been VERY sneaky and extremely stealth. I was 2 of them last Thursday scurry on the kitchen floor. I sprang into action immediately doing a recognisance then initiated a kinder gentler search and destroy. After all, Kitty is a lover not a fighter...

By Friday morning (thankfully I had the day off) I mad a run to Canadian Tire and stocked up on no kill mouse traps. By the time I did a deep clean, peppermint oiled, steel wooled and duck taped the few holes I could find, I had already caught one cute little grey buggar. He was released, humanely down the street, in a park near an old utility shed. I honestly at that point didn't want to kill them, I just wanted them out and away.

By Sunday morning I had caught and released 4 others. but alas it seemed the remaining, what? few? (dear jebus I sure hope so!)were willing to take this up a notch. I could hear at least one attempting to gnaw through a wooden grill covering my hot water tank, but I counld not find him.

Well I awoke this morning to find that he not only broke trough, but he had at least one friend and they had opened two escape holes... Before heading to the office I did another deep clean, peppermint oiled, steel wooled and duck taped the new holes closed.

I have decided to this point not to poison the fuckers because well I have Santiago and I don't want to risk his well being... but at lunch today I did another run to Canadian Pneu and picked up some Rat Seed and I also got some Ultra Sonic Rodent repellers. (I've hear glowing as well as demoralizing reviews of these, but thought what could it hurt to try)

When I arrived home I did another check and found another damned access rout and took care of that and humanity be damned I filled it with seed then steel wolled and sealed that sucker shut. and then i set up the ultrasonic. There's a slight hum, but only if you are within a foot or so, and Santi doesn't even seem to notice them.

So we'll see how it goes. I will go easy on the seed but if they want to continue this war... I'll gladly drop a $20 in little mini mouse guillotines and off with their fucking heads!

DIE FuckingMouse!


Sunday, February 14, 2010


Quick Post #3. Jealousy.

It's not often I am jealous of others, but there are exceptions and one is Alexandre Bilodeau; Canada's first Olympic Gold Medalist on home soil.

But it's not because of his Accomplishment tonight, albeit phenomenal and I praise him and say he is a true Canadian Hero. no, it's not for that, it's because he has an incredible brother.

A brother that he admires. And more so a shared brotherhood that I deeply wish I had. Alas, whereas Alexandre is blessed with a brother that inspires, and encourages him, I have a brother that embarrasses, enrages and inspires siblicide.

Oh well. Fortunately I have friends that are more brotherly than he could ever be. And for that I count blessings.

Quick Post #2. The Olympics!

OMG! I am such an Olympic Junky! And so is Pinky!

We've practically spent the entire weekend on sofa, eyes barely blinking for fear of missing a moment,

And this was an amazing weekend. Not only have we succeeded in already obtaining one of each medal, it was the that elusive Gold that was finally won. While not taking away ANY of the glory of the Silver and Bronze, this was an accomplishment most deliciously savoured.

Not only was this finally the end to a most truly Canadian curse (the ONLY host country never to have won a Gold on home turf) Third time's the charm, eh? But in that it was won by bumping a smug, arrogant little prick that forsook his Native Canada to compete for Australia, and condescended at any and every opportunity not only Canada but other countries as well. So to you Dale Begg-Smith I say SUCK IT!

And more importantly I say Congratulations to the first three, of MANY Medalists to come:

Katarina Groves; Speed Skating - Ladies' 3000 m

Jennifer Heil; Freestyle Skiing - Ladies' Moguls

Alexandre Bilodeau; Freestyle Skiing - Men's Moguls


Quick Post #1. I gots me a Man.

I'm certain I've mentioned him, if only in passing, because lets face it, I've not been all that bloggy lately. Those of you on FaceBook will know more and been up to speed. For those of you on FB feel free to add me... (search me out by email:

Anyhoo... back to my man. I have to say things are still relatively new and fresh and silly honeymoonish, but well so what.

We learn from our past relationships and hopefully we grow from them, as well as with existing and new ones.

One thing I learned from my last relationship with D was that similar tastes and interests need deep and plenty. While a few similar interests are nice, if you have more unique interests than same walls are built, activities become solo, especially those of the social variety. I DIDN'T learn that from my first serious long term relationship, but I am well up to speed now.

Another is intellectual levels. I'm not talking IQ here. and I'm not saying I'm more intelligent that prior partners, nor were they more intelligent than me, I?, me. What I mean is that the two are equally matched intellectually. Matching senses of humour, morals and knowledge bases are not only desired, but know what i do now, are essential.

And something else, which for me is a first, is sharing a similar heritage.

In all three it can be said that some opposites are good for attracting, I have come to learn, in the long run that there is more than attraction; it only goes so far... and then what. And while it's great introducing that someone special to new experience, tastes, sounds, and so on, it's ever more delicious, to me at least to share all those favouite interests, loves, desires and commonalities.

While certainly not dating myself, I've can categorically say I've never been with someone as similar and matched as we are. And most importantly, Santiago likes him too...

For the record, his name is Marcel, but I call him Pinky. (Santiago calls him Senor Pinky, naturally)

He's a voracious reader, and also writes as well and has reopened that door, I had long since closed. He's a skilled foodie and coupled with a distinct Homebody-ness takes great pleasure in cooking lusciously delicious meals for me, as I do for him. He's a avid dog lover - we're now looking for a pooch of his very own (Santi and I have re-awaken that desire in him). Movie, TV and entertainment favouites abound. And our sense of humour is so in sync that we are consistently sharing the exact same snide remarks, entendres, and quips simultaneously.

There is of course much more but this was supposed to be a quick post, so we'll leave it at that.

The road to hell... paved with my Blog Intentions.

It WAS my intention back in January to get back to regular blogging.

1) because I missed it
B) because I had stuff I wanted to post,kvetch or just plain bitch
III) I said I was back.

Well at this rate my own personal road to hell is fast becoming an express superhighway.

Well no more I've got to get back at it... so Bare with me, there are a few things I need to catch up on in the next few Quick-Posts. There after I will attempt to get back on the wagon, or rather off and blog more regularly.