Happy Doggiversary

One year ago today... Santa Claus delivered to me the most fantastically amazing gift I've ever received. None other shall surpass this gift... as none can.

TO really understand and feel 100% unconditional love, all you need to do is have a dog in your life. I am so blessed, with Santiago de Montréal.

This past year has been more of a roller coaster than I would have ever preferred, but I can tell you this, through it all there was one unfailing, infallible constant... and that is the love I receive EACH DAY from my guardian angel...

Today is his day.

And tonight it's a special dinner with a special guest; Mr Pinky, and a special movie (Beverly Hills Chihuahua naturally) And tomorrow for the first time he will meet his Grand Parents, and in two days he invites his best friends in the world Chachi and Flea for a Christmas 8 day Doggie Camp...

It's all about Senor Santiago... it has been this way for 365 days.

Santiago and I, Dec 20 2008



Santiago and I, Dec 19 2009

Where it's snowing all Winter through, that's where I want to be.

Well, we're getting not only the first real amount of snow this Winter here in Montréal, but a proper amount is expected 20-25 cms...

What better way to celebrate than with Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney, Danny Kaye and Vera-Ellen ...



♪ ♫ Snow
It won't be long before we'll all be there with snow
Snow
want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow

Snow
I long to clear a path and lift a spade of snow
Snow
Oh, to see a great big man entirely made of snow

Where it's snowing
All winter through
That's where I want to be
Snowball throwing
That's what I'll do
How I'm longing to ski
Through the snow-oh-oh-oh-oh

Those glist'ning houses that seem to be built of snow
Snow
Oh, to see a mountain covered with a quilt of snow

What is Christmas with no snow
No white Christmas with no snow
Snow

I'll soon be there with snow
I'll wash my hair with snow
And with a spade of snow
I'll build a man that's made of snow
I'd love to stay up with you but I recommend a little shuteye
Go to sleep
And dream
Of snow ♫ ♪

Happy Hump Day

Santi Meets Santa...

It was back on December 6th of last year that I visited Santa (As I do every year) and as per usual when Santa asked what I'd like I sad "a Dog" That year, as opposed to most he said he's see what he could to...

On December 15th I met a dog at the SPCA... a dog that would become mine not 4 days after...

Santa had followed through, and ahead of schedule.

This year I visited Santa on November 28th and gave him a Christmas card, thanking him for giving me Santiago, and including a pic of me and the wee beast. Santa asked why I didn't bring the dog along and I replied I didn't think I could bring a dog into the Bay, let alone up to the 7th floor. He said, well, Santa says you can...

So... one week later Santiago and I made the trip downtown on the metro, up up up the elevator to the 7th floor and directly to Santa.

I was greeted with "Hello Shawn. This must be Santiago..."

I'm telling you this is THE Santa...

We sat for a few pics, unfortunately, Santi took, like most two yead olds right hissy fit!

Santa was happy to met Santi nonetheless and Santi made a wish and asked for a huge bag of Puperoni and a new duckie...



And the fun had ONLY just begun...

You're tansaction, like you, has been rejected

So I didn’t ‘re-fill’ my Metro OpusCard on the 30th or the 1st because the lines were a little “Waiting for Santa” if you know what I mean.

What do I mean by ‘re-fill’ my OpusCard? Here in Montréal they got away from the disposable monthly passes for Bus and Subway and now we have permanent cards that you ‘re-fill’ or charge.



You go to little Posts in any of the Metro Stations and re-charge your card, either 6, 10 or 20 individual ‘tickets’ or a Month. It’s a rather painless system where you first insert your pass and then select what you’d like to get applied to the card and then pay.

True; it’s a simple process… perhaps TOO simple because what should only take 45 seconds to a minute per person sometimes ends up being a couple minutes or as was the case for me this morning (there was only 2 people in line so I thought this was the time… oh how wrong was I)

Person #1 was in and out in the pre-described 45 seconds. (yay)

Person #2… you stupid, STUPID girl! There are 3 modes of payment:
- Credit Card
- Debit Card
- Ca$h

… Ca$h… as in those lame-ass bill feed interfaces that will only accept a Bill, freshly printed and cut, less than 5 minutes from the Mint… Have those things EVER worked for ANYTHING?!?!?! Vending Machines? Change Machines? Parking Meters?!?! No. No they have not!

And it’s not like Dumbazz was a technophobe old biddy. No. She was a young wee thing. A young spirited 20 something with firm taunt skin on her face (bitch) Did she really thing she could enter in 4 $20 recently received from an ATM to be accepted in the payment slot for her Metro pass. And WHY THE HELL?! Didn’t she just opt to pay for the card WITH her debit card. Saving that $1.00 service fee just cost you AND me what was it? 7 minutes. YES! SEVEN MINUTES!

But here’s where Karma shows her true colours (seems she doesn’t like to wait in lines either) After the eternity of bills rejected, bills re-flattened, bills finally accepted, the system went down and her transaction failed. The Teller box does not spit back out her 4 x $20… nay-nay… what it proceeded to do was spit out 40 $2 coins.

To say I was over-joyed is an understatement. As she collected her rejected life’s savings I couldn’t help but snicker. She turned and gave me a look, to which I replied. “Well maybe next time you’ll just pay with Debit or Credit and save us all time. Oh… and Merry Christmas ” (Time to take the off-ramp)

Happy Hump Day

World Aids Day 2009

Global HIV/AIDS estimates (end of 2008)

The latest statistics of the global HIV and AIDS were published by UNAIDS in November 2009, and refer to the end of 2008.

People living with HIV/AIDS in 2008 33.4 million

Adults living with HIV/AIDS in 2008 31.3 million

Women living with HIV/AIDS in 2008 15.7 million

Children living with HIV/AIDS in 2008 2.1 million

People newly infected with HIV in 2008 2.7 million

Children newly infected with HIV in 2008 0.43 million


AIDS deaths in 2008 2.0 million

Child AIDS deaths in 2008 0.28 million


More than 25 million people have died of AIDS since 1981.


Africa has over 14 million AIDS orphans.


At the end of 2008, women accounted for 50% of all adults living with HIV worldwide.

In developing and transitional countries, 9.5 million people are in immediate need of life-saving AIDS drugs; of these, only 4 million (42%) are receiving the drugs.

The number of people living with HIV has risen from around 8 million in 1990 to 33 million today, and is still growing. Around 67% of people living with HIV are in sub-Saharan Africa.

During 2008 more than two and a half million adults and children became infected with HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus), the virus that causes AIDS. By the end of the year, an estimated 33.4 million people worldwide were living with HIV/AIDS. The year also saw two million deaths from AIDS, despite recent improvements in access to antiretroviral treatment.


(Statistics from AVERT.ORG)

White Rabbits

White Rabbits!
White Rabbits!
White Rabbits!

T minus 30

MAKE-UP!

Somebody is getting Primped and Preened.

Only one month y'all!

Has it been a year already?!

It seems like just yesterday... that sweet young and innocent Nattah Montana burst onto the scene...

Now she's all grow'd up and Glamorous!

Happy Burpday, ya freak!
Kitty Love!

Happy Hump Day

Dems some knockahs!
Or "Moobs" as they are known...

Is this the real life?

I was a but a wee thing when the Muppets first aired on TV and even though I'm not 39+ I am amazes as ever at these little things of fur and foam and more talent and imagination that 99.9% of the schluck out there today.

THIS is an INSTANT classic...

Sit back...

Relax...

And Laugh Your Ass Off!

cockamAMY

Amy is in a mood.
She WILL bitchslap you.

On medical leave...

Sorry Kittens, I've been a bad blogger again. I just cannot seem to catch a break with my health recently....

Six weeks ago it was a hernia, 3 weeks ago a blasted nasty cold, and now...

...a most heinous sinus infection. I'll save you the goreys but suffice to say the antibiotics have been doing as number on my innards... I feel like I've eaten nothing but Indian for a fortnight. Other that the royal visits to the throne I am pretty much horizontal.

I'm even in too much discomfort to tell you about my day at 3 CLSC (clinics) and the emergency... once I'm feeling better and the venom is coursing through the veins I'll up date you. I get violent in one part that was most satisfying. But for now... back to bed...

Happy Hump Day

He said, "Pam"

He said, "Pam"

He said, "Pam"

cockamAMY

Happy FriGAY the 13th

He said, "Pam"

I Heart Mona...

Lest We Forget.

He said, "Pam"

Happy Hump Day

Make Love

Not War

He said, "Pam"

MOVIE QUOTE-ient

If you havent seen "GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS" before...

... here are some very good reasons why you should. (I quote these more often than I should)...


Coco: Oh, Evie, when I was at Vassar, I became... with child. And I had... a procedure.
Evie: That's your big secret?! An abortion?!
Coco: Have you had one?
Evie: Coco, I've had more children pulled out of me than a burning orphanage!


Coco: What do you think about the idea of having a dog in the house?
Evie: I'm sorry, have I been staring?
Coco: I'm thinking of getting one. I mean, let's face it, at this point I'm probably never going to have kids.
Evie: Oh, Coco, it's not too late. [Coco smiles] I'm kidding! A dog sounds fun.
Coco: It sounds depressing, is what it sounds. "Do you have kids?" "No, but I have a dog." "Well it's the same thing, you crazy barren old hag."


Evie: [about Varla] Coco, she came by and she was a peach.
Coco: Were you drunk?
Evie: It was 12 noon... of course I was drunk.

Coco: Let me help you with your duffel bag.
Varla: [confused] My things are in the Cabriolet.
Coco: Oh, I'm sorry. That's just your ass.


Varla: Did you know her [Varla's mother]?
Evie: Goodness, yes! We were... we were always running into each other at auditions. She had such a bright future, too! We were all so shocked when she offed herself.
Coco: Evie!
Evie: Oh, I'm sorry, passed herself away.
Varla: Well, they shipped me off to Arkansas right after, so... I have so many questions. What was she like?
Coco: Very sweet.
Evie: Uh-huh. And a big pothead!
Coco: Evie!
Evie: LOVED cock!
Coco: EVIE!
Evie: I'm sorry, Coco is Sexaphobic.


Varla: My mother always said, "Feelings are like treasures, so bury them."


Evie: Hi, Jeff? You rammed into me today and I want seconds.


Evie: One drink? What's that?


Evie: So I said, why am I laughing? We're doing it doggy-style and your name is Barker!


Jeff: [looking at Evie's wall photographs] You knew Mary Tyler Moore?
Evie: Very well. Funny story... she has diabetes.


Evie: [pointing out houses to Coco] June Allyson! You know, they offered me that Depends commercial. Lot of money, too. Just one little problem... I don't shit my pants!


Coco: You raped me.
Dr. Benson: Yeah... I'm sorry about that.


Coco: You still shouldn't have drugged and raped me.
Dr. Benson: Really super sorry.


Evie: Astro-phys-i-cist!


Laurent: My apologies for being so bold but... when I see the best, I have to have it.
Varla: Well you know, a Maserati needs much more pampering than a Toyota.
Laurent: This is not a problem if the Maserati will take its driver where he wants to go.
Varla: Maseratis don't do anal!


Stevie: Mom, no one will hire you!
Evie: Why not?! I mean, I admit my looks are starting to go.
Coco: Starting to go? Evie, your looks are home and in bed.
Stevie: I think you know.
Evie: My attitude?
Stevie: No.
Evie: My drinking?
Stevie: No.
Evie: Chronic lateness?
Stevie: No.
Evie: Never learned my lines?
Stevie: No.
Evie: The kleptomania?
Stevie: No.
Evie: I spread disease?
Stevie: No!
Evie: Then what?!
Stevie: That little thing where you ran over a family of four while drunk off your ass?
Evie: It was a family of six! I only killed four. And what kind of people have a picnic in their own back yard!


Do yourselves a favour; rent it, borrow it, download it, buy it... I can't tell you how many times I ahve watched it, but I can tellyou I'll keep on watching it, over and over and over again.

He said, "Pam"

I honestly have nothing to add, other than if you have never seen or heard of PAM ANN before, you owe me!

Have a great week Kittens, et bon vol!

cockamAMY

Oink Oink - Cough Cough

I’m sure you’re all now familiar with this first image from the first round of the H1Ni flu back in the spring…



Well I just got this one in my work email this morning…



…seems matters just got a little worse for Piglet… or better… cause hey, you don’t know… maybe he’s into that. ;-)

Happy Hump Day

A Little off the Top Bottom

Hello Kittens,

This is a bit of a delicate matter, more directed towards the tom-cats … although the ladies might be able to comment on behalf of their bf’s\husbands… but I think, somehow this might be homo-specific…

Look there’s no polite way to discuss this…

Guys… you ever shave your balls? - not the FULL monty, cause that’s a LOT eepycray… you know, just the ‘boys’...



So, are you the shorn scrotum type?

Yes? You are? Good… ok I have a few questions, baring in mind that this is not something I normally do, but I was bored the other weekend and thought you know… why not? I’m on the market and you know, it pays to have a clean house when inviting over company… ;-)

Here’s the thing, what is the real upkeep involved here? ‘Cause personally it’s NOT the sort of place I want to have to shave THAT often. Hell, I tend to only shave my face once, maaaaaybe twice a week. On Sat, once I hit the one week mark I re-did ‘em and I would have done em sooner but as I’ve been sick and coughing and sneezing a lot I thought it best to wait til I and I’ll admit it went ‘smoother’ than the initial man-scapping but still it’s not a place where speed is an option, you just can’t go “Ginsu” down there. You need to have time on your hands…. And really it’s the sorta job that if you’re NOT going to do a good job, don’t bother… Personally I’ve been on the ‘receiving end’ of well… you know and it is NOT a place where stubble is attractive….


And since we’re on the subject, what is your preference? You like em in a fur coat or bare as a baby’s bottom?

So… Comments? Opinions? Beauty tips?

WRONG!

OK, y'all best enjoy this one bitches!

Tonight, on my commute home I passed not one, but two, count em... TWO houses with their Christmas lights not only on (in one case I firmly believe they were never taken down) but also lit up. Yes Kittens, at least two douche bags in the City of Montréal have turned ON their Exterior Christmas Decorations.

You know me kittens. you KNOW I ***LIVE*** for Christmas... and you KNOW that secretly I've been planning the decoration schemes of my new place since the day I moved in; but people, please... give me a frickin break here... It's just way the fuck too early to be turning on Christmas Lights....

- - - - -

With this in mind, here are Misster-Kitty's Steadfast rules to Christmas:

1) Christmas Music.
Cannot be played until November 25th and no later than January 6th.

2) Christmas Decorations.
Cannot be displayed until December 1st and no later than Jan 6th. With the following exceptions:
2a) Exterior Illuminated Decorations MAY be permitted to be put up during the last week of November due to potential inclement weather in December (those in the south can just effing wait!) but aside from a quick check to ensure all are working, NOTHING is to be illuminated until Dec 1st.
2b) If you're a handicapped individual you may begin Interior Decorations during the last week of November. (Kitty is not a hateful bitch after all)
2c) If your colour scheme on Window, Door and or Exterior illumination is white (ONLY) with, or without a motif of Snowflakes, you are permitted to leave these lights up until the end of January and may at your discretion keep them lit at night... say if you're having a party or there is a fantabulous snow fall taken place at the time.

3) Trees.
3a) If you have an Artificial Tree (and really, I have to ask, WHY?) you can put it up no earlier than the 7th of December
3b) Natural Trees (you know this is the only REAL option, don't you Kittens) should not be put up any earlier than December 14th
3c) In either case (3a or 3b) the trees MUST be removed by January 6th

4) Office Decorations.
Should only be put up on the First Friday in December and should be timed with the end of the day, so as to be a more pleasant greeting to all on Monday Morning, and should be removed the First business day after New Years Day.

5) Greetings.
You should NEVER feel fear or the potential for recrimination in wishing someone a "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" in mixed company, on the street etc (If Office Protocol stipulates "Season's Greetings", that's fine, but if someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, you should return the greeting!) The only time one should refrain is if you are in a known non-christian location: Synagogue, Temple, Satanic Dungeon (hey it happens to the best of us on occasion... some of us try for at least once a month *cough cough*) At the local Jewish Deli and so on... Come on people share the joy of the season, don't be a douche! If when you greet someone with your most cherrful "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" and they say they are not christian, or do not celebrate Christmas, simple smile and say "Well all the best none the less" (and secretly, flip them the bird!)

6) Festive Holiday Attire.
Should be reserved from the Monday preceding Christmas Day, and may continue until New Years Day. Musical ties for men are NEVER acceptable. Wearing a Santa's hat in place of a tuque or other winter cap or hat IS acceptable, between the Monday Before Christmas and Dec 27th.

Note to Orthodox Christians...
Really? You just HAVE to be different, don't you? Just gotta rock the boat, holiday after holiday... Fine you should shift all specified start and end dates 2 weeks forward.

I hope this helps to clear up and confusion on the subject. If you have any questions please, do not hesitate to ask.

World Vegan Day

I know right? I had no fucking clue either! Aside from being gay... I like meat, so this could have TOTALLY slipped under my radar except...

Here in Montréal there is an annual Montréal World Vegan Day Fashion Show. Again I say... I know, right?!

Well I more than knew because not only was the emcee of this event none other than my bestest gal pal (and fag hag in training) N@ Lauzon, but as well one of the celeb invite guests was an old friend from back east Lucy Decoutere, star of Trailer Park Boys (Yea I don't watch the show, in fact it was only about a year ago that I found out she's even on it! lol)

So I just got back and it was a fun night...

Who knew that there are Vegan Fashion Designers... pas moi!

The Event is organized by the Concordia Animal Rights Association (CARA) Among other specially guests were Habs Georges Laraque, and also from Trailer Park Boys, Sarah Dunsworth, and local band Commander Keen (with Jalene Vandermey) They were actually kinda fun and did a kick ass cover of Cory Hart's Sunglasses at Night! No shit!

The important part of this event, for me at least, aside from being there to support friends was that 100% of the proceeds from this annual event go to the Montréal SPCA and their fight against Puppy Mills. And being the Father of a Puppy Mill Rescue Pup it's something I can support 110% ANd I got to hang with N@, N@'s Mom Ma Horton, BF Corn, Sis Dawn and Aunt... Um...N@'s Aunt.. heh And got a few mins to chat with Lucy . I've not seen her since I moved to Mtl back in 1991 It was short but sweet and I also scored some MAJOR karma by having her sign a pack a smokes for a co-workers boyfriend who's a big fan of the Trailer Park Boys... It's nice to see that Lucy hasn't changed one bit! She's still the same energetic foul mouth freak that I remember. Love ya Lucy!

Next year I'll go again and I'll be a little more proactive and mention this BEFORE so in case YOU want to go you'll know...

ANYhoo...here's a few pics of the evening... sorry they totally suck but flash wasn't helping the place had a lot of 'atmospheric dust'

The Hostess with the Mostess... N@ Lauzon...




Lucy and Sarah... Lucy basically is a hyperactive child and this was the BEST pic I have of her front side from the fashion show...




But here's a GREAT shot of Lucy's ass...




This is a super fuzzy shot, but it's N@ being piggy-backed by Georges... cute!




At the end of the fashion show all the models on stage...




Commander Keen (with Jalene Vandermey)...



Sarah and Lucy after the show... chit-chattin' and a posin'!




And last, but not least... N@ and I... self portrait...



(Ma Horton, you'll have to send me the pic of us... )

White Rabbits

Cake anyone?

White Rabbits
White Rabbits
White Rabbits

Happy Hallowe'en

...And Happy New Year...

May the Horned God guide and protect you.

Happy Hallowe'en

All Done with Rebound Guy...

...now what to do with the remains?

Happy Hallowe'en

It's getting close to Midnight...

Happy Hallowe'en

...while other tricks are less treat...

Happy Hallowe'en

Some Tricks are also Treats!

Happy Hallowe'en

When out trick or treating...

...watch out for big spiderwebs