Friday, July 31, 2009


Miss Amy Winehorse

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark Texas

(Sorry Bill)

Perfume puts 34 people hospital Texas health alert.
Ft. Worth, Texas, July 30:

Thirty-four employees of a bank call center were transported to hospitals Wednesday after a co-worker sprayed strong perfume inside the office, according to several media reports that are making rounds all over the Internet.

Initially, it was believed that a leak of carbon monoxide- a colorless, poisonous gas with no odor- was the cause of workers’ dizziness, but later it turned out that the actual culprit was a particularly strong brand of perfume Scores of workers at a Texas call centre became sick yesterday afternoon after they smelled mysterious fumes at the workplace. The strong scented perfume spread panic through the building, triggering fear among workers that they were under chemical attack or the victims of a carbon monoxide leak.

Initially, it was believed that a leak of carbon monoxide- a colorless, poisonous gas with no odor- was the cause of workers’ dizziness, but later it turned out that the actual culprit was a particularly strong brand of perfume.

How the panic triggered:
The incident occurred in a Bank of America complex, located in the 5400 block of North Beach Street, near Loop 820 in north Fort Worth after scores of employees started feeling sick and dizzy.

Lt. Kent Worley with the Fort Worth Fire Department said the situation started when two staff members started feeling sick and dizzy after a female co-worker sprayed perfume.

"Just two employees reported some dizziness in close association with someone spraying on some perfume," said Worley.

After some others suffered the same problems, they notified the supervisor about their illnesses after which an announcement was made, urging those who felt sick or dizzy to exit the building.

"When these employees reported their illness to a supervisor, an announcement was made over the building's PA system saying that anyone feeling these symptoms should exit the building to an outside location," he added.

Workers report symptoms:
According to Lara Kohl, a MedStar ambulance spokeswoman, 34 workers were taken to a hospitals, 12 by ambulance, after they reported dizziness and shortness of breath, while another 110 were treated at the scene. Some people reported the dizziness while some others complained of chest pains and head aches.

"We have multiple patients experiencing symptoms of shortness of breath and chest pain," said Kohl.

Lt Worley said that the situation had become complex because of "psychosomatic behaviour" and "contagious fear". He said several employees from other floors of the building also started coming out and "many continued working with no ill effect."

Initially it was feared that carbon monoxide or some other toxic substance had leaked into the building but after hazmat crews and the fire department workers inspected the entire area they did not find anything harmful.

"We called a (hazardous materials) unit to the scene but they didn't detect anything on their air monitoring unit," Worley said. "That air monitoring unit can detect carbon monoxide and several other chemicals and products that can be in the air.

"But they found nothing that would have caused people to get sick."

Firefighters declared the area safe at about 3 p.m. and allowed employees to re-enter the building. The investigators have assessed that the incident was caused by some perfume, however they have not yet determined which brand of perfume had sparked hysteria.

What's that I smell? *sniff sniff* Ah! that's the sweet sweet smell of Karma.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Monday, July 27, 2009

I don't even care if it's true...

This one's for J*O*E...

Phoque You Bridgitte Bardot

...and the whole EU too!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

No good deed...

...goes unpunished.

These are sadly true true words.

After getting my tat today, I was heading home and witnessed a man collapse on Ste-Catherine street as I exited the Metro. He was walking with a friend and simply dropped, and when he hit he really hit. His head bounced; literally bounced off the pavement.

A few others saw this as well but weren't doing anything. So I ran across the street to see if I could help. The friend was trying to lift him to the side of the road as cars were coming. Now I know it's not wise to move a body, but the way they drive in Mtl, we moved him tout suite!

A Girl who was there had her cell and I looked and said, "You've got to call 911!" The guy was falling in and out of consciousness and his face was swelling up before our eyes.

To make things more interesting they were both deaf and the friend could only speak some broken french!

There was a cop car parked in front of a restaurant 1/2 a block a way so I went in to get them as the girl was calling 911.

Just as a first responder fire truck arrived the guy came to and didn't want any help, but was unable to even stand. As a couple of the firemen were tending to the guy, the girl and I spoke to another to tell them what we saw.

What I got from the friend was that the one that fell had been celebrating since yesterday evening, his birthday I think and well, was basically pass-out-drunk. I think the friend sobered up very fast!

A minute or so later an ambulance arrived but the guy was still refusing any help or aid. The main ambulance driver indicated that as this was called in and the cops were involved he had better just relax and let them check him over. It took them 10 minutes to convince him to have his pulse checked, blood pressure checked and check his eyes for dilation. When the BP results were in they called ahead to one of the hospitals and explained that they were obliged to take him in. All of this again made difficult as the mean was deaf.

The friend was trying to calm him down and you could see he kept telling him that it wasn't his fault, he didn't call 911. The friend was getting upset now too so I just walked over and looked at the guy sitting on the ground and indicated that *I* had made the call, not his friend. He seemed to accept that and allowed the ambulance workers continue to check him out.

I stood back but didn't leave because I was not sure if I'd needed me to give a statement or anything. Just before they drove off in the ambulance the friend walked over to me, reached out to hug and thank me but he reached for and grabbed my arm directly on my new tat that was completed less than an hour before. I held in the nancy school girl scream, because I just couldn't have the guy any more freaked and upset. I hug him back, said I hoped the guy would be ok and wave goodbye.

As I was walking away there was a tear rolling down my face; as much because I felt that I'd done something good when others were simply gawking, and too because the pain emanating from my arm was beyond belief!

I hope the guy is doing ok. I can still see him falling as clear as it was happening as I type this, and all I can think of is Natasha Richardson. I pray he ok.


After 2.5 hours here we have the completed Tat.

This was drawn free-hand by the tattooist based on an initial concept by yours truly.

I am so completely over-joyed by this one. It is 1000 times better than even I thought it would be.

If you're in Mtl or gonna be in Mtl and are looking for some work I'd glady put you in touch with the artist Alex Boudreau.

I've already got 5 more in the works. Upper back, inner lower arms and both feet. And it won't stop there I am sure!

I'm off...

... to my friend Alex's to get my next Tattoo.

Getting another crow. This one on my right arm.

(Photos to follow)

Friday, July 24, 2009


Recently divorced and now acquitted from the Bitchslap case, Amy takes a well deserved drag off her fag and adds a smug smirk for free!

Is it any wonder why I love her so?!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

No More Hired Wangers!

So Judy God was just that: GOLD! A fabulous show. We were 4th row stage right on the isle... a PERFECTLY unobscured view of the stage.

She sang, she 'danced' ok, not so much, and she did her schtick.

What I loved is she referred back to her early stuff like the Kiss Curl and " It's the Judy Show!" which I so loved, and the totally took on the Mormons and Prop-Hate.

What disappointed me was this... and I'm talking from experience... the Queer shows bring out the cutest fags this city has to offer... even the audience for Lea Delaria years ago (I met her back stage, she's a total teddy bear!) was full on BEEF CAKE... a veritable Sausage Fest... tonight... was... more of a KugelFest. I think we were one of only a half dozen gay couples and by far the youngest and cutest. The rest were Jews from the old country, minimum age 97!

Anyway my favourite part was the picture she showed of her 8 year old son Ben holding a sign that said "My Two Moms can Totally Kick Your 14 Wives Butts" When they went to a Prop-8 protest in New York. That just totally rocked!

So yea, a fun time was had... Didier even got a couple of the jokes. ;-)

No More Wire Hangers!?

We're off to the Queer The-a-tah tonight Kittens. *

This evening it's Miss Judy Gold in "Mommy Queerest" **

I hope she's serving up more than cake! ***

* But isn't ALL theatre queer?

** Special Thanks to my own personal Fairy Ticket Godmother! *Mwah!*

*** Award winning comedian Judy Gold hates one-person shows… that’s why she’s doing her second one, Judy Gold is Mommy Queerest! The star of the 2005 Just For Laughs hit G-d Doesn’t Pay Rent Here has a lot to say about being the mother of two boys and an out lesbian comic. There is no stone unturned: her mother, anti-depressants, nursing homes, parenting, gay marriage, and of course what she truly thinks about her kids (they are annoying, expensive, and they better pluck out her chin hairs when she’s in the Hebrew Home for the Aged). Gay or straight, black or white, Jew or non-denominational neurotic, Judy will make you laugh your ass off. And with the high rate of obesity these days, that’s a good thing. *PHEW* Well that's a relief!

Happy Hump Day

Monday, July 20, 2009

oh yea...

...and we're back from the pool party weekend...

Had a bee-last!

Sorry, so far no pics to post here (on private sites, well that's another story!) ;-)

Fuck You iTunes

As part of the collection of Didier's Birthday gifts, back on the 12th, I gave the Mister a $25.00 gift certificate to the iTunes store. With the MAIN intent of his downloading the new version 3 software and then whatever the hell else he wanted. A couple days later I received one in kind for the anniversary. That now gives us BOTH $25 in our iTune Accounts and when you deduct the $9.99 from them for the cost of the Software upgrade, that still leaves us both with $15.01... or so we would have thought.

See, each time for the past fucking month when I open my iTunes to mix up my iTouch music you are promptly taken to the iTunes store where they tell you about all the fun and fabulous thing you can do once you take the upgrade. BUY BUY BUY they say and you know what we WANT TO but we can't.

WHY can't we. Well I'll tell you WHY... Because even though on the gift cards it simply says:
1) Open iTunes
2) Click on Redeem
3) Scratch off label and enter code.
4) Download your entertainment and enjoy.

NO WHERE on my card does it say, "but not for the things you REALLY want and need like software upgrades, or apps... because, NOPE you CAN'T BUY APPS or SOFTWARE UPGRADES through iTunes" with that lovely balance on your account. Even thought that is EXACTLY where you MUST purchase them from...

It's in the fantastically SMALL PRINT on the website help page where it tells you that it's not good for software. Fuckwads!

Nice fucking scam you got going on there you peice of shit mother fucking money grubbing asstards!

At the bottom of the back of the gift card it says "Don't steal music" Oh! You mean like you just fucking stole $25 from each of us.

This is EXACTLY WHY I download music and will continue to do so, because the supposedly honest and upright places are just as sleazy and thieving.

So, dear iTunes Store you can suck my sweaty ball sack.

Friday, July 17, 2009


... I miss my BABY!

Esther Williams... your fucking heart out!

That's right Kittens; Kitty is headed to the 'Shwa for the weekend to engage in all sorts of unsavory activities beside and in the pool!

It's our friends Michelle end Connie's (Michael and Constantine's) annual all male pool party weekend spectaculaire!

So no more blog posts till I return Monday afternoon.

Have a great weekend!


Freshly Divorced Pool Pixie.

...bless her heart... this is EXACTLY what I'll be doing in about 14 hours... (for the whole dang weekend!)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Happy Anniversary

Well today is four years to the day since I met the Mister.

Love, like Life is a roller coaster... Fortunately we both LOVE roller Coasters!

Happy Anniversary Mister.


Tonight we're off to see BALE de RUA at Théâtre Mainsonneuve...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Happy Hump Day

... and you thought you only had to worry about the last people that had your hotel room...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Happy Bastille Day

La Liberté guidant le peuple
~Eugène Delacroix

(nice tits)

Monday, July 13, 2009

I Fucking Knew It!

This just in....

Swearing is good for you!

How great thou art, Art

John Liston Byam Shaw
Russell-Cote Art Gallery and Museum, Bournemouth, England

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Gag me with a spoon Violin

As part of Didier's birthday presents, I gave him three tickets to see Pagagnini. They are one of the Pre-Festival shows for this years Festival Juste Pour Rire.

Didier, Sacha (D’s Nephew visiting from France) and I went to the show tonight and had a blast. They are a somewhat modified Spanish(?) string quartet (3 violins and a cello). Their show is a combination of Classical Music Concert and Comedy. Very slapstick and very entertaining. It of course didn’t hurt that there was a totally Cutie McCute violinist in the group, and I once dated a violinist… heh

It’s funny as the show was drawing to a close I thought how odd that they didn’t do anything with Vivaldi’s Four Seasons (a particular favourite of mine, thanks to Nigel Kennedy) so you can imagine my pleasure when, as their encore they did a raucous and totally over the top (there were somersaults while they were playing) rendition of the third movement of Vivaldi’s Concerto No. 2 in G minor, Op. 8, RV 315, "L'estate" (Summer), Presto.

It might not be to everyone’s tastes (the elderly gentleman beside me, barely laughed and did just enough applauding to be borderline polite) but if you enjoy classical music and want to double you evening’s pleasure with a giggle or twenty, then if you are in Montréal go see em! (they are performing until the 19th) and if you’re not in Montréal go see ‘em if they ever come to your neck of the woods.

Little Treasure.

Look what I found while scavenging on the beach...

Happy Birthday Didier.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Kitty tested. Kitty approved.

It's not often I'll be blogging about house cleaning, or endorsing products without compensation (hint hint Mr. Unilever) but, I feel that there are times when you simply must buck the system... even your own. This is a prime example.

I am not fond of the whole household cleaning regime, but until Mr gets up to at least a VP position at the bank and I can become a Stepford Wife, the chores must be done. I get the bathroom... sink, toilet shower and floors... fun, I know. I have been over the past 6 months fighting a loosing battle against soap scum on the glass shower doors...

...that is until to day.

I've tried everything! Tile-X, Super fucking duper Tile-x (you know the one you need a hazmat suit to use). I used Scum-Off (cute name I though; completely worthless!) I've used any and every combination of OXY and CRL type product, Mr Clean, Pine-Sol, hell I even gave Easy-Off a try...

Well today I've fallen in love with a cleaning supply. And my hero's name is Vim.

Jesus! This shit WORKS!

...and the absolute, total, over-the-top selling point of his is I got it at the Dollar Store! That's right kittens... not only did it due the job; it DIDN'T do a job on my wallet (as so many of the previous so-called clears did)

So if ever you're at the end of your ropes and wonder if you'll ever be able to look through your shower doors at the love of your life all lathered up and wet... I say Grab the bottle of Vim and all your dreams will come true.

Kitty happy.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Kitty Joy

Thanks to Mitzi I was reminded of my all time, ever favourite clip from the Vicar of Dibley. -If you don't know thew Vicar, you really ought to. It's such damned good fun.

What could be better than The Vicar? The Vicar as the Jilted Lover lip-syncing to Yvonne Fair's "It Should Have Been Me"

Karma be damned!

Kitty had a run in with an old lady on the bus this morning….

So, it’s Friday and Kitty need some happiness on my schlep to the office… I find that happiness in music, as many of us do. Today, it was Dead Or Alive Remixes… (I know, right! SOOOOO much fun!)

I will admit I tend to turn the volume up, but mostly because I do NOT want to hear other’s conversations on the bus, especially on a Friday when hearing about sweet old aunt Agnes’ hip surgery, or young Billy’s latest adventure in potty-training gone bad, will, very well tip me over the edge. Typically the volume is at 2/3’s And even still some times I can still hear them yammering on around me…

After the Metro ride I hopped on the bus, sat down, and began playing cards on the iTouch. A couple minutes later the Old Lady, henceforth to be known as “Crone”, walks up and taps me on the shoulder and signals me to take my earphones off. I do so and she begins to question me as to why I bother having earphones on since she can hear my music and doesn’t like it. I looked at her, blinked a couple of times (for effect) and replied, “Madame, just so you know the volume can still go much higher. And the reason I listen to music in the first place is so I don’t have to listen or talk to other people on the bus, so, If you’ll excuse me…” and I put the earphones back in.

Still standing over me, Crone taps me on the shoulder again. I take the earphones out, sigh and she again says “Would you turn down your music?” I replied, “Just as soon as you turn down your bunion cream and Yardley’s Lily of the Valley ‘perfume’ It’s making me gag. No? Oh well I guess the music stays.”

Crone knows I have her in checkmate and so she returns to her seat.

As I get up, just prior to my stop I turned up the volume to full as I am listening to “Cake and Eat It”, then pass her to get to the door.

As the bus speeds away I turn, look up, blow her the sweetest kiss, smile and wave goodbye.

Kitty: 3
Crone: 0


This is Amy back in school...

Boggles the mind, don’t it?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Happy Hump Day

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Seperated at Birth (I hope not)

Steve "The 40 Year Old Virgin" Carell and Santiago de Montréal

Monday, July 6, 2009

LOL. Literally.

I can't remember where I saw this referenced about a month ago. I meant to post a link to the post but can't remember, so I'm just posting the video here. Whoever it was THANK YOU.

Now, sit back, relax and laugh out loud. Literally.

Calling all Lushes...

So we’re off in two weeks to the ‘Shwa (Oshawa) to visit our friends Michelle and Connie (Michael and Constantine) for their annual long weekend pool party. Take one Pool, add 60+ Men, and Stir.

The dilemma here is what will be Kitty’s cocktail of choice this year?! Last year I drank Jager and OJ. SHUT UP! It is a great drink! It tastes soo good! And on the plus side in a clear glass it looks obnoxious so no one will take from your stash in the fridge. But it took me a good week last year to get my blood sugar levels back in check.. I think over Sat and Sunday I drank about 3 cartons of OJ…

So I’m opening this up to all you lushes out there…

Got any suggestions for a drink that packs a punch but is a 2-3 ingredient (MAX) concoction and is not likely to have all the boys wanting to sneak my stash? Keep in mind I don’t like sweet sweet drinks in any quantity, I don’t mind sour or bitter… cause lets face it … “You are what you Drink.” ;-) I have an obvious preference for anything Vodka based but just don’t think I can stomach a weekend of Vodka Cran.

Also (hint hint to you Toronto fags and hags) I know the LCBO often has tons of ‘novelty mixed drinks’ coolers etc. I wont poopoo a cooler so long as there actually some BOOZE in it, the taste is not like licking the floor of a chemical plant and it’s sugar content won’t throw me into a diabetic coma…

Extra bonus points if it has a great gay name! ;-)

Thank kittens!

(but not recommended)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Shopping High

Whilst promenading through the Gaybourhood today, we stopped to peruse the fine merchandise at Priape.. and what to my wandering eyes did appear, but these Absofuckinglutely Fabulous knickers.

"Oh sales-boy, be a love and ring these up.
Thanks ever so!"

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Straight from the oven

I had an extra 5 hours last night so I just threw this together...
(can anyone find the mistake?)

A lesser known American Patriotic Song...

♪♫ Yank his doodle, it's a dandy ♫♪

Happy 4th of July

Kitty wishes all his American Kittens a Happy Forth!


Friday, July 3, 2009


Nice skirt!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Happy un-Hump Day

Seeing as it's a national Holiday we are Hump Day-less today...

...there are worse things...

Happy Canada Day

White Rabbits

White Rabbits!
White Rabbits!
White Rabbits!