Monday, May 5, 2008

Dear Carrie Ann and Bruno... part two (the bitch is back)

Apparently I was not clear the other week in my letter to the two of you. I'm not sure how I could possibly be any clearer than:
"Please.
Shut.
The.
Fuck.
Up."

I can only guess that it was the politeness of my request. The word 'please' I guess, was rather confusing to the two of you. So, with that in mind, allow me to be a little more direct...

Hey fucktards skank judges. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up now. Shut the fuck up tomorrow night. Shut the fuck up next week. Shut the fuck up next season. Just, Shut the fuck up.

You're as useful as tits on a bull. You're phenomenally rude, consistently reward poor performances and have your smoke blowing lips so far up the pretty people's asses that it looks like the dancers are blowing smoke rings outta their own lips.

Giving Christian scores of 10 is just truly beyond the pale. You pathetic lame ass, douchenozzle asstards. Yes, he did well and deserved a bit of praise for continuing because of his injury, but those dances were not perfect, with or without an injured arm. And to try and state as you did, on live international TV that it "didn't show" only makes you look like the fuckity ducks that you are. Just like how Priscilla Presley's facial expressions were "remarkable"... She's only got one fucking expression and that's "Dude! What the fuck?! Help me, my face is fucking frozen."

...which brings me back to you: Skankalina and Skankisimo...

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

DROP THE FUCK DEAD.

DIE ALREADY.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

DIE DIE DIE!

Thanking you in advance,

Misster-Kitty.

PS, since I already know that my aforementioned requests will be ignored, here's a thought... maybe you two could let Len finish ONE critique without interrupting him. Huh? Coulda? Maybe? huh?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gee. Reading your post is almost like reading Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Sheer poetry.

Misster Kitty said...

Oh I dunno, I was feeling more Suess-y when I wrote it... but golly-gee, thanks!

JB said...

Maybe you could look up 'Dancing With The Stars Therapy' in the Yellow Pages...
...or you could do what I do, and just not watch it. You might be surprised at how quickly it loses its importance.

Misster Kitty said...

I don't understand these words... "just not watch it"... What language is ti that you are speaking?

Not watch?!
...are you mad?!?!

I love the show... I just dispise Skank #1 and Skank #2

...kinda like Loving Seinfeld but not liking George... You watch the show, you just don't watch George...

JB said...

I didn't really watch Seinfeld, but when I did (maybe a total of ten times for a complete episode), I kinda liked George. I found him funny - like a-man-in-trouble-type funny.
Years later, when I tried to watch Larry David's 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', I couldn't get into it, because Larry (who has since admitted that Seinfeld's 'George' character was based on him) was too much like George, except less comic and more annoying.
But, really, just stop watching the Dancing show. It's going to jump (or dance over) the shark any minute now, anyway.

Misster Kitty said...

I can't not watch. Jumping the shark or not. I love the show, I just really really really dislike the skanks. But It's otherwise very entertaining for me.

Funny about George, I like The actor, but disliked the character. I much preferred Elaine...

I just don't get Curb... It's all the neurosis of Seinfeld without any of the humour...

TICKLEBEAR said...

kitty?
is something annoying you?
i sense that you are tensed a tad...
:)~
anger management, look into it. might make your viewing more enjoyable by abstracting the presence of skanks 1&2... otherwise, it defies the notion of entertainment...
:D~