Tuesday, September 2, 2008

If this is September...

...it means DwtS is about to begin!

And if you do not know what "DwtS" means then you may as well stop reading now...

- - - - -

OK, you still here?

Good!

Here's this season's celebs, pros and my thoughts...

Lance "the gay one" Bass
'N Sync
Dancer: Lacey Schwimmer

Sorry but I'm gonna play the gay card and vote for him... but y'all know my heart belongs to Joey...


Toni "Unbreak my heart" Braxton
Grammy Award Winning Singer
Dancer: Alec Mazo

She'll likely do well, then have a relapse of what? bankruptcy? drugs? and stay a couple extra guilt laden weeks and then be gone.


Brooke "Who?" Burke
Model/TV Host
Dancer: Derek Hough

Oh, wait.. she was the host of Dog Eat Dog... OK, well she'll last til the 4th to 5th week...


Rocco "zzzz" DiSpirito
TV Chef and Cookbook Author
Dancer: Karina Smirnoff

Couldn't care less...


Maurice "whatever" GreeneOlympic Gold Medal Winning Sprinter
Dancer: Cheryl Burke

I'm sure I don't know....


Kim "Seriously... WHO?" Kardashian
Model, Stylist And Reality TV Star
Dancer: Mark Ballas

Seriously, I haven't got a frickin' clue who this is...
Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?


Cloris "Frau Blücher" LeachmanOscar Winning Actress
Dancer: Corky Ballas

I'm a huge fucking Mel Brooks Fan, AND Facts of Life fan, so I'm just GOING TO HAVE TO VOTE FOR HER!


Cody "bait" Linley
Teen Actor
Dancer: Julianne Hough

Paging NAMBLA, your mascot has escaped. ...
...Seriously, again, who the hell is this?!?!?


Susan "LaLucci" Lucci
Daytime Emmy Award Winning Actress
Dancer: Tony Dovolani

I never watched a day of her career, but the Membership Committee has informed me I am obliged to vote for her...


Misty "zzzz2" May-Treanor
Olympic Gold Medal Winning Volleyball Player
Dancer: Maksim Chmerkovskiy

This breaks my Heart! I cannot vote for her, even though she's with my future ex-husband... Maks... But I saw far too much of her, in every sense at the Olympics and I already want her gone, even before the show begins.


Ted "Stupid good looking" McGinley
Actor
Dancer: Inna Brayer

Say what you want I always had a crush on Ted, especially when he played the dumb but hot gym teacher on Happy Days. I shall vote for him.


Jeffrey "I ain't laughin" Ross
Comedian and Director
Dancer: Edyta Śliwińska

I can smell just how bad he's gonna be... and that does my heart well knowing that Edyta will soon be gone!


Warren "?" Sapp
Former NFL Player
Dancer: Kym Johnson

NO clue...

- - - - -

Personally I'd like to see:
Lance, LaLucci, Cloris and Ted in the Final four. I'll reserve naming my fav until at least week 3.

Let the games begin!

11 comments:

Shirley Heezgay! said...

year after year, dwts fails to snatch me until the final episodes, and even then, just barely.

although i think your final four prediction is half right...

John said...

I love Toni Braxton. :( She's a respectable talent. I swears!

...oh and it's "Unbreak" My Heart. (just to be nitpicky).

Misster Kitty said...

Yo Shirl! whatup gurrrrl?

I'm actually a recent DwtS convert... only really started watching in Season 4... But I gotta watch it now!. And besides it's unapologetically over the top... besides there's lots of sequines, feathers and a shitload of Leopard Print, and what's more...you get to see a TON of Man Nipple, so it's not that bad really....

So given the list of competitors and that none have danced live yet, what would your final four be?


John, I swear I don't know what you're talking about... of COURSE it's 'Unbreak my Heart' I think you need to check your eyes... heh

I think Toni will do well but I just don't see her makin it to the end...

Newsguy Bob said...

Heh-heh. Shirl said "snatch".

Jerome said...

I'm pretty sure Brooke Burns was from Dog Eat Dog. (I'm ashamed to know that, but I think I'm right.) Wasn't Brooke Burke from something (or possibly everything) on Star TV or the E! channel or something?

Shirley Heezgay! said...

she was a wild on! host or something.

Cheryl (a.k.a Sherri, and vice-versa) said...

Kim Kardashian -- rich chick famous for nothing -- except having a pronounced derriere -- family has some reality show thingy. I read too much Perez Hilton (shame!).

Misster Kitty said...

OK so we confirm Brook was on Dog eat Dog (and I think also Bruce Willis' arm candy for a year or so)

...and that Kim thing is like, whateverish, we don't know nor do we care...

Jerome said...

Nope. Looked it up. Brooke Burns (not Burke) was on Dog Eat Dog.

libhom said...

Clooris was fabulous on the Bog Saget roast on Comedy Central.

Ma Horton said...

Thanks for the info ... I did not know who was on this year until I read it here .