Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Unbreak her heart

I don't want to say I told you so, but...

I told you so!

Back on September 2nd I said, of the Diva Braxton:

"She'll likely do well, then have a relapse of what? bankruptcy? drugs? and stay a couple extra guilt laden weeks and then be gone."

Well I knew I was good but to have predicted this would occure on the premiere episode.... In her "Lets get to know the contestants and fill the 2-hour time slot" the first words out of her mouth were "I was recently diagnosed with Microvascular Angina and so I am doing this to to show myself that I can do it... yadda yadda yadda"

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make light of her health, but shouldn't she have tried to coast a couple of weeks before dropping the faulty-heart-bomb, like say when she messed up on a dance and needed the sympathy vote?!?

Don't be wasting those votes now gurl, you did good last night!

Oh and for anyone interested I've just launched Misster-Kitty's Psychic Friends.

1-900-675-4889
That's...
1-900-MR-KITTY

Call now.

Call often.

$5.99 for the first minute. $3.00 additional minute. Minimum 5 minutes per call.

2 comments:

ayem8y said...

1-900-MR-KITTY

“Misster Kitty’s psychic friends…Please state the nature of your psychic emergency…”

Um yes…I was recently diagnosed with a cute muscular mangina. I sleep around a lot and I’m always the belle of the ball but now I’m concerned that my tricks aren’t interested in me so much as they are interested in my cute mangina. Since I’m shallow this doesn’t bother me that much. My question is should I try to exploit my recent diagnosis by being a contestant on, “Sleeping with the Stars?”

Misster Kitty said...

Hello Mr Mangina.

This is Tigress, one of Mr. Kitty’s friends.

Yes of course. Absolutely. You should join the cast of Sleeping with the Stars immediately! There are simply not enough cute muscular manginas on the TV today.

Unfortunately I feel I must tell you that I foresee that your ‘Professional Partner’ will be Ron Jeremy.

But not to worry, yours is so muscular (and cute) a mangina that you'll eventually win the Glitter Lube Trophy (aka SparkleDong) and garner such attention that Titan Video will sign you to a 7-digit per film, 5 year contract.

I hope this helps clear any doubts you may have.

Now don't forget, pay it forward. And by 'forward' I mean ‘we deserve a cut of your new found financial success’. You can send an international money transfer to an account to be provided once you have signed your contract.

Thank you.
Call again.

*click*