Monday, April 16, 2007

Hey Assholes...

...pedestrians have the right of way!

When you're in a car and in a merge lane where there is a crosswalk, WITH a Crosswalk sign AND A FU*KING YIELD sign... that means: not only must you yield to traffic, but also yield to pedestrian traffic. (and by that I mean people WALKING across the road on the FU*KING CROSSWALK) I nearly got run over twice by the same BIT*H driver this morning.

When I was walking to work after I got off the bus I looked at the cars on the road I had to cross (a Merging lane to the Met), not only was the line of cars not really moving (due to a snow storm's after effects) but I also had made eye contact with a driver (hereafter known as the BIT*H), so I naively assumed this was ok and I could cross. But just as I was about to walk in front of the BIT*H and her then stationary vehicle, she decided to pull ahead 3 feet. I had to stop dead in my tracks not to come into full contact with her car and still had to brace myself with my hand to balance. I instantly saw red and gave her car a good wallop with my fist. When I attempted to finish the walk across the road by crossing in front of her again stationary car, and she decides to pull ahead again.Had I not side stepped/hopped to the left I'd have landed full on her engine bonnet. This not having been the first such incident in my life I immediately decide to inflict damage on said bit*h's car. For approximately one minute I pounded the shit out on her car. The front bonnet, the passenger's side door and window.

Now I have a sore hand but I feel better knowing I scared the shit out of her. And I hope she will think twice again before cutting off a pedestrian (who again, HAD THE RIGHT OF WAY!!!) especially when she has no chance of 'escape'.

At work when I arrived a few mins later they asked me if I took her plate number, but I didn't. Unfortunately I was seeing too much red to have thought clearly enough to get the plate number (I REALLY need to do this, seeing as this is the 5th or 6th such time something like this has happened. I really should think more along the lines of reporting these jackasses to the cops instead of the instant gratification I am compelled to take by pounding on their car - and hopefully dear god, maybe causing a 'moment' in the undies!)

Look, I know I've got a few 'anger issues' but excuse me for thinking I should be able to walk across a crosswalk without having to do it so 'defensively' .

I've been in the 'big city' of Montréal now, nearly 16 years and it still amazes me how rude, and recklessly people drive here. Back in Halifax, this sorta thing never happened to me and I know no-one it has happened to there either. In Montréal, it's personally happened, as mentioned 5-6 times (seriously you begin to loose count over time!) and similar events have also happened to friends, co-workers etc. Can someone tell me WHY they drive like assholes in big cities?

You know what? Screw calling the cops. I'm gonna start a vigilante group. I'll encourage all pedestrians to walk with something hard and heavy, say a hammer, so when they get hit, or nearly run over by an asshole driver (and they will, it's just a matter of time) then they will be ready to bung up their car. Who's with me?


Ok well I'm feeling even better now that I've vented...

yup... it's Monday.


Ma Horton said...

I have noted bene that you see the colour red a lot on Mondays ..nes ce pas ?

Misster Kitty said...

Well yes and no... It IS true I am no big fan of the 'Monday' BUT I get by, if only in part because I know I get to see Fatone dance on Monday nights...

...but today was a real kicker. One of my biggest pet peeves are asshole drivers and Miss BIT*H this morning REALLY set me off in a tizzy. My hand is still throbbing... I hope it costs her to bring the dent out of the passenger side door.

John said...

I'm amused by your affirmative action. Good for you. I'd never have the nerve to kick the shit out of somebody's car even if they did almost hit me.

In so many ways, pedestrians are a dying breed. Now we know why.

N@ Lauzon said...

with you 110%!!!!
Just today, a cab actually stopped to let me cross at a crosswalk. Couldn't believe it. But my glee was cancelled out by the fact that the car BEHIND the cab was HONKING HIS ASS OFF - like, why the hell are you stopping?!

When cars cut me off, I usually smack them. However, I am a feeb, so I'm sure they don't even notice.

Misster Kitty said...

I'm not so sure how amused I am by it. I'm not exaggerating when I say this type of stuff has happened before. And if it continues, I'm either going to be actually hurt because I'm hit by the car OR more likely... the driver is going to get out of his car.. However, so long as there's no gun I say "Bring it biatch!"

I not sure what part of my make up is to blame for my intensely minimal level of patience for crap like this, but as I mentioned in an earlier post, my tolerance is so phenomenally low for this kinda thing, or rude passengers in buses, metro cars, elevators and the list goes on. In fact once in a grocery store I picked up my grocery cart and slammed it down about 4 feet away, because this Westmount-bitch seems only happy if she was exactly where I was, and I mean EXACTLY... she hit me from behind countless times, moved my cart a few times, (And I'm actually VERY considerate where I leave my cart in the isle so as not to cause jams or block prime products etc) And once I slammed the cart down I said "There! Are you happy now? You can be exactly where I was... or would you rather I bent over, spread 'em and you just crawl right on in?" *insert dramatic pause* and then I said "BITCH!" and kept on shopping.

In all honestly I'm really a nice person. Believe me. I open doors open for women and men alike. I will gladly give my seat on the bus or metro to an elderly person, I regularly approach visually impaired people (if they do not have a dog) and offer my assistance (about 50% of the time they decline, and that's cool, I just like to make sure they realize someone noticed them and is there if they need it), when people drop something as they are walking along the sidewalk I will pick it up and give it to them, hell! I'll even point out dog shit to people so they don't walk in it) But cross me, and it's instantly on. Cut me off with your car, Plow into me as I am trying to exit the metro or a buss, etc and I will be an absolute prick back. Immediately and with an intensity that in itself shocks me. But such is how I was wired...

All I can say is once you start... you'll never go back...

Misster Kitty said...

Tell me about it N@... when you actually receive a little kindness from a driver it sticks out more than the Pope in a leather bar.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that'll bang their car. And even if you think you're too 'feeb' , trust me, they notice.

Good on ya gurl!

Pissed-off Pedestrians unite!

John said...

I should clarify that I wasn't amused by the situation. My apologies. I would be equally enraged. My "amusement" would be better expressed as "admiration" that you won't put up with bullshit. And there ain't nuffin wrong with that. My pacifism is getting old, and I think I'm just starting to fully realize that I can be a nice person and let people know when their behaviour is unacceptable at the same time. It won't diminish me.
You seem to have mastered it, and I say "bravo". :)

Misster Kitty said...

hehe. lotsa oopsing here, 'twixt you and I... No worries.

I didn't think you thought it was amusing that Bit*h was keen on ignoring me and seemingly wanting to drive into and or over me...

When I look back at these events, I have a certain humouristic, if not s&m fondness for them. And yes, to see me wholloping a stranger's car must have certain 'you tube-esque' qualities.


For those interested I'll soon be holding a seminar entitled:

"How to bitchslap a bitch-driver's car and not ruin your mani"

Details to follow. ;)