Open your Mouth and say "Kelly Clarkson!"

SON OF A BITCH!
I've never experienced such pain in my life.

OK, so I'm back... with a pounding headache and feeling seriously light headed.

Here's the dillio:

1) I under-estimated my required return visits. There will be 5, yes, count 'em... FIVE. ...and I negotiated that down from SEVEN!!!

Why seven? because there was so much plaque / tarter UNDER my gums that it was incredibly difficult for him to remove, and white-knuckle grip painful for me. He therefore wanted to recommend the cleaning be done in 2 more visits. In my quasi-lucid state I slurred in no uncertain terms that WE were completing the cleaning today. He said "are you sure? because I can tell you're in a lot of pain...." to which I replied "It's going to hurt now, it's going to hurt next week. I'd much rather it only hurt this week." - which only further validates that I get off on the whole S+M thing...

And still 2 times he stopped and insisted we continue next week. BUT we DID finish the cleaning today...

2) In two weeks I go back for the polishing ...and hopefully by that time the gum swelling will have gone down! I swear I look like Andie McDowell right now.. ALL gums. 'cept mine are extra-super-doper-red.

And then when that is done....

3) ...we go on to appointments 3-6 all for Filling work. I actually only have 2 NEW cavities, which when you consider a dentist has not been near my chompers in 12-13 years, that's no so bad! I even impressed myself! But as well I think 5 prior fillings need to be replaced. 2 because there is fresh cavity under, 2 because they are loose and still one more because I swear I can pick up 'radio-free Europe' with it and I think it should just be brought up to something 'this century' And because this covers teeth in locations in all 4 quadrants (isn't that cute.. makes my mouth sound like a university campus) I have to go back separately for each quad.

and last but certainly not least...

4) Dr Raper is HAWT! I sooooooooooooooooooo do not mind that I'm going to be seeing a lot of him over the next 2 months! And when he instructs me to open wide, well lets just say I will gleefully comply.